Real men think twice before breaking off their relationships!

Hi everyone! Am back again! Hope you enjoyed my last post? Did I hear you say you aren’t a single lady? Hmmm, that may be the case but you can’t deny the fact that you know someone who is. She may be just a friend, a relative or even a colleague!  The main idea is so you can have an inkling into what it entails to be a single lady ! Knowing these, i hope someone somewhere will lay off the pressure and harassment. Yea, let’s cut them some slack! *batting my eyelashes*
Hmmm! Am still very much in the mood to share more letters. I hope you are also in the mood to read them. Has anyone gone to check out the site? Please and please you need to! Last month I blogged about breaking up your relationship if need be. The post was titled, ‘ Is it a crime to break off a relationship?’ 1&2 ( and ). If you haven’t read it, please check it out. In as much as i am an advocate of ‘ a broken engagement/relationship is better than a broken marriage’ cliché, I however adviced that CAUTION is indeed needful. I talked about ‘Zoning’ and why it (zoning) is necessary to enable you break off ‘successfully’ with little or no bitterness on both sides. Check out my post on ‘Ever heard of ZONING in relationship?’ 1&2 ( and ) and see what it means to ‘zone’.
Today’s ‘OPEN LETTER’ is also written by Leke Alder, LA for short. It was written as an admonition to ‘Jack’ , his mentee who wants to break off from his woman. Happy reading!

So you want to break with her
Posted 02-02-2014
Dear Jack,
Please forward this mail to John. It’s the response to the mail he asked you to forward to me. What does he take me for?!
“Dear John, Jack forwarded your mail to me. I am constrained by higher considerations to reply your mail though ordinarily I would have ignored it. You wrote me for solution to your “problem” with an ignoble motivation. Once the motivation is of doubtful provenance the integrity of an act becomes a questionable proposition.
You want me to supply you with know-how on how to fulfill your long scheme of breaking up with your poor girlfriend. You’ve been dating this young lady for so many years. Seven years to be near precise. From what I gathered from your mail she must have been a bit young when she met you. She is so trusting of you that you could actually claim to have mentored her as you did in your letter. And she’s a wonderful person according to your testimony. She stood by you through thick and thin. I assume from her nature and the length of the relationship that her parents are in the picture. In fact it is reasonable to assume that marriage was in the works. You alluded to it in your mail. She is so committed to the relationship that for all the seven years you’ve been sleeping with her. You still do. But now you have suddenly woken to the realisation that you “can’t marry her”. I’ll go into your why in a minute. (I shudder a wee bit on the inside recalling the coldness and matrer-of-factly nature of that part of your letter). The wisdom you require from me is essentially how to break her heart because “it hurts you to hurt her”.
It is obvious you know nothing about me, my values, my mission and purpose. Neither do you understand the responsibility attached to the gift of wisdom God blessed me with. How do I use the gift of God to render assistance to such evil purpose as yours? It’s interesting that you are so precise about the longevity of your relationship with this young woman. By May, that is four months hence, it will be seven years of, shall we say, sleeping with her. When a man like you is that precise about the anniversary of a relationship, it is with cold calculatedness. Men are not routinely given to the calibration and tabulation of such dates. In fact some struggle to remember wedding anniversaries. The date must ironically mean a lot to her.
Now, who you marry is your decision. And so ordinarily no one can hold you bound to a relationship you don’t want, but my problem here is the sophistry of your motivation, your deviousness, excuses, cold calculatedness and means. So worrisome was your letter to me that I had to seek third party opinion. All concluded you are evil!
There are two reasons you gave for planning to ditch this poor lady. The first is the size of her mammary organs. To use your crude expression, “her breasts are small” and you “like big breasts”. One may of course ask if the breasts suddenly shrank in cup size. You’ve been sleeping with her for seven years! When men say such things it’s either they’ve struck up a relationship with another woman with those attributes; or are lusting after one whose vital statistics fit the dimensions of lust.
The second reason you gave for wanting to dump this woman is even more worrisome. You resorted to strange religious logic. You have this nagging feeling you say, that you ought to marry a woman you have not defiled. And you shamelessly misquoted a Bible passage – the scripture about the marriage bed being undefiled. That passage has nothing to do with your circumstance. It’s about adultery IN marriage. You’re not married! That you can attempt to justify iniquitous unsavouriness with the Word of God shows how insidious and perfidious you are.
Your old relationship now seems “so sinful” you say, “no thanks to your church!” And so your church is “responsible” for triggering this planned break up of yours. According to your logic, to make a sharp holy break you must cleanse your sinful past by dumping this girl. That will of course make room for you to strike off a new relationship with a big breasted woman, I guess. One could of course ask why you can’t repent with your girlfriend and start anew. Oh, I forgot, she’s not big breasted!
This whole thing boils down to I’m tired of her, I’m looking for fresh carnal flavour isn’t it? And “I’ve squeezed all the juice out, she holds no attraction for me anymore. Used her. Next girl!”  How do you seek to justify carnal propensities with lying and pretentious righteous aspiration?
Yours is the first reverse righteousness I’ve come across. Of course you need my advisory letter to tender before the poor young lady as the basis of the break up. Something along the lines of, “Even Uncle Leke Alder thinks we should split up!” Just like you now use your church as syllogistic ladder for breaking up the relationship. Can a man mock God? I pray circumstances don’t conspire to make this young woman marry you. It will be the greatest mistake of her life.
From the tone of your letter it’s obvious you have no regard for her whatsoever. You talk of her as if she’s a “thing”, a disposable. To think she gave you seven years of her life. She deserves much better than you and in the words of Jesus to Judas, I say to you: That thou doest, do quickly.
I pray God gives the young lady strength for that which is coming, that which is inevitable. You are going to dump her. Before May. And I feel sorry for the incoming big breasted woman. Do physical dimensions matter? They do. They affect preferences and can determine choice. But I’ve said this before: the physical can’t sustain a relationship. The essence of the physical is attraction. Without character, values and emotional balance a marriage hardly stands a chance. If those are skewed and the troubles start you won’t remember how beautiful the woman is.
In closing, let me remind you of an ancient proverb: He that sows to the wind shall reap a whirlwind.

Hmmm. Another moving write-up, won’t you say? I especially love the metaphors, similes, ironies etc. Leke Alder’s use of words is just phenomenal! However my dear readers, the crust of this whole post is that…REAL MEN THINK TWICE! They think twice and deep before breaking off a relationship! I will also seriously advice thinking twice before jumping into a relationship!
Till my next post…wisdom is the principal thing and is also profitable to direct. So get wisdom!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.