Hello friends! Welcome to another exciting and inspiring time on #ListenUpNG Love is in the air!????????

#ListenUpNG Ironically, it seems the single guys and ladies enjoy the Valentine season more…

#ListenUpNG…with gifts and loads of PDA posted all over the social medium platforms.

#ListenUpNG Sadly, most marriages are plagued with one issue or the other that prevents the free flow of love especially at this season.

#ListenUpNG The ones #DearWifeyNG #DearHubbyNG ‘licenced’ to ‘give it all’ have now become the ones living in deprivation????

#ListenUpNG Do join me and my special guests on the next 3 sessions in February as we tweach on these #RealLifeIssues.

Today on #ListenUpNG, I will be hosting one of the nation’s finest family and sex therapist, Praise Fowowe! @PraiseFowowe

#ListenUpNG Join the conversation as we examine the #RealLifeIssue of “WHEN SHE FALLS INTO ALDUTERY”

#ListenUpNG I want to appreciate the host of #ListenUpNG for this amazing opportunity @kemiodutayo

1.Enitan slowly picked herself up and could never have believed what just happened to her #ListenUpNG

2.She was a good girl all her life and married a virgin as a matter of fact everyone looked up to her & she was a model to all #ListenUpNG

3.Her marriage to Charles was a match made in heaven by all standards as they were both committed in church #ListenUpNG

4.He was a lead singer and she was in prayer squad & very devoted to God. She had many suitors before settling for Charles #ListenUpNG

5.She had read loads of books on relationships and expected a very lovely marriage afterall they were both believers #ListenUpNG

6.Her hope was dashed on the second day of her honeymoon as he yelled at her for not making arrangements for breakfast #ListenUpNG

7.She couldn’t really believe that would happen so quickly but she overlooked it thinking it was one of those things #ListenUpNG

8.But it turned out to have become his way of reacting when things don’t go his way. He was a master of tantrums #ListenUpNG

9.She was a very beautiful lady & her siblings were party animals but she got saved early so never had time to party #ListenUpNG

10.In 3 months of marriage she was already living in regret because the man she met was not the same man #ListenUpNG

11.Every attempt to talk things over with him was met with a brick wall as he was not ready to talk about anything #ListenUpNG

12.Somehow she managed to reach his mentor who called him to order but that was her greatest mistake #ListenUpNG

13.He came home and grabbed her by the neck and warned her never to report her to outsiders #ListenUpNG

14.In his words marriage must be between husband and wife and God. No third party was allowed to interfere #ListenUpNG

15.From thence she leant to keep her peace and became a dutiful wife trusting God for a change of attitude #ListenUpNG

16.As the days go by their sex life was almost non existent as he attributed it to his work load & all #ListenUpNG

17.She intensified prayers and spent more time talking to God about him as she believed only God could touch him #ListenUpNG

18.She attended a vigil in another church and ran into her childhood friend Chike whom she had lost contact with for 18years #ListenUpNG

19.She ran into his arms and wondered where he had been? He explained that he had to leave the country after in Primary 5 #ListenUpNG

20.She sought to find out what he was doing at the Prayer meeting & he explained he was a committed member of that church #ListenUpNG

22.Chike knew something wasn’t right with her because each time she talked about her marriage she shed tears #ListenUpNG

23.He never pushed it but they exchanged phone numbers & they spent time chatting & prayed together a number of times #ListenUpNG

24.Other times they cracked jokes & shared dirty jokes which she had to delete cos she knew it was inappropriate #ListenUpNG

25.As the days went by she spent more time talking to Chike and for once she never had to bother about her husband #ListenUpNG

26.Chike had to travel for 3 months on offshore training in which he was incommunicado & it was a tough period for her #ListenUpNG

27.She picked him up from the airport the day he came back and the plan was to drop him off in his house #ListenUpNG

28.The last thing she remembered was that she was in his arms & by the time she came to her senses Sex already happened #ListenUpNG

29.She wept and cried and sought God’s face for forgiveness & for the first time Charles started paying attention to his wife #ListenUpNG

30.Chike was also shaken by what happened because both of them never bargained for what happened #ListenUpNG

31.Somehow she managed to open up to her husband & he was angry & told her it was over #ListenUpNG

32.But after about 2 weeks he surprisingly came around & told her to remain in the marriage & allow them work things out #ListenUpNG

33.Often times men expect the woman to forgive when they fall into adultery but we struggle to do same #ListenUpNG

34.Latest statistics shows that more women are getting involved in adultery & there are several reasons for that #ListenUpNG

35.Whatever the reason may be there is no justification or excuse for adultery however we all know it happens #ListenUpNG

36.What has happened may be bad but what we do with an already bad situation is more important than the act #ListenUpNG

37.For the purpose of this discussion I’d like to define adultery as an illicit affair that involves penetration #ListenUpNG

38.Even though my definition of adultery is a bit different & based on that definition maybe only a few can come clean #ListenUpNG

39.Which is ‘Anyone that looks at another man/woman lustfully with a view to having him/her has committed adultery #ListenUpNG

39b.I know a few people can come clean on that count but I am not sure I can come clean based on that standard #ListenUpNG

40.I was once asked on a national TV what I’d do if my wife is overtaken by adultery #ListenUpNG

41.I didn’t have to think about what to say because I thought about it and my response is what I’d share here #ListenUpNG

42.There are repentant adulterers and unrepentant adulterers so I’d assume we are talking about a repentant adulterer #ListenUpNG

43.Adultery is never a pleasant experience for anyone as our interpretation of it would differ #ListenUpNG

44.But having said that the first thing we must take a look at is the reason for the adultery because nothing just happens #ListenUpNG

46.There are several reasons ranging from past baggage that was not dealt with to unguarded moments & other reasons #ListenUpNG

47.Whichever way I think the attitude of the offending person & the offended is very critical #ListenUpNG

48.If the man takes an overall look at what happened he would be able to see beyond what was done to why & how it happened #ListenUpNG

49.He is most likely going to see personal cracks of his wife or marital cracks that opened the doors for it #ListenUpNG

50.Once we focus on what has happened all we will see is JUDGEMENT but when we focus on why EMPATHY is what happens #ListenUpNG

51.In all of these there are 3 major responses 1. Walk out on her & move on 2. Walk towards her & rebuild 3. Remain & pretend #ListenUpNG

52.I don’t judge or blame people for taking either but I will take the 2nd option for several reasons & they include; #ListenUpNG

53.A. I could have been the one involved and I am so sure she would forgive me so why wouldn’t I forgive her? #ListenUpNG

Q:What if you know she won’t? Probably in the course of several discussions, she has reiterated never to forgive? https://t.co/VaOI3mDrZZ

A:@KemiOdutayo Then i am not responsible for her unforgiveness. I however will keep appealing till trust is rebuilt #listenUp

54.B. My own sin may not have been penetration but I have looked at other babes lustfully so I am equally guilty #ListenUpNG

55.C. I swore to be there in sickness and in health and adultery is one of those sick moments where my vow is tested #ListenUpNG

56.D. I will seek the help of a professional for her & seek to find out the areas I have failed her & where she needs help #ListenUpNG

Q:????????????????????What about close ‘monitoring’; her phones and whereabouts? https://t.co/hTtdMGWsVf

A:@KemiOdutayo not necessary. Once the person changes phone takes the shape of the new person #ListenUp

57.E. What that situation means is so important so I will recommend a ‘memory scrambling’ which helps change the meaning #ListenUpNG

Q:Interesting! Please shed more light on this! https://t.co/31AdNbFzj1

A:@KemiOdutayo memories of the past can sabotage people’s future if nothing is done about it. Professionals can help here

58.Until what the situation means is changed it is tough to forgive and rebuild trust so I’d recommend professional help #ListenUpNG

59.Having done all commit your heart unto God & trust the Holy Spirit to bring healing to your mind #ListenUpNG

60.But let me say this carefully that in case you can’t forgive her it might be best to release her lest you make her miserable #ListenUpNG

61.I believe a forgiving heart is the heart that is willing to forgive before the offence is committed #ListenUpNG

62.No one expects bad situations but they do happen and when they do we must rise above it & build #ListenUpNG

63.And that is why the purpose of coming together in marriage must be too strong for the pains of adultery to break #ListenUpNG

64.But in all the choice is yours & I ask you to read ‘Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us #ListenUpNG

65.Nobody prays for this situation but when it happens we must rise above it & win. Thanks and remain blessed #ListenUpNG

What an explosive session it was on #ListenUpNG #DearWifeyNG #DearHubbyNG #ThisThingCalledMarriageNG #ReadRestAndReflect @praisefowowe https://t.co/Hxsr3UlgQH

???? Awesome tweets! Thank you so much for honouring our invite. Great session, I must say. Thanks for being a blessing! https://t.co/cIeEdigCc6

Watch Out for next week session on #ListenUpNG as we discuss ‘WHEN HE FALLS INTO ADULTERY’ @DeleAgbogun @praisefowowe @yinkanubi


About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.