Children are blessings from God; innocent little creatures they are! They come with clean slates and we begin to write on them. Eventually, they often grow up to become what we wrote!

Our #RealLifeIssue on #ListenUpNG today is ‘What Have You Written Or What Are You Writting On Those Slates?’ Our Special Guest today, Mathew Femi-Adedoyin will be tweaching on ‘PROGRAMING OUR BOYS TO BE REAL MEN’. Let’s have a mindset makeover and prepare for the future we will like to see! Let’s program…yes…PROGRAM our kids RIGHT!

Matthew ‘Femi-Adedoyin is a Family Life Coach, Sex Recovery Therapist and Child Psychologist.

He is a dynamic and prolific teacher, humorist, strategist, maverick and blend of gifts.

Matthew is the Principal Consultant at Abstinence Icon Resource Consult, a family life, sex recovery and child/youth advocacy firm with a mandate to heal ailing homes, raise sexually pure leaders and build healthy families.

Read on!

1.Good evening everyone. It is a privilege to be on #ListenUpNG Big thanks to @KemiOdutayo for this opportunity

2. I have been asked to teach on Programming our boys to be real men. #ListenUpNG

3. First, we must understand that a sane society starts with a sane family & a sane family starts with transformed individuals. #ListenUpNG

4. Every individual that belongs to a family must be trained to be a responsible adult. Responsible people build sane society #ListenUpNG

5. Unfortunately, we live in a society where we have more women trained to be wives than we have men trained to be husbands #ListenUpNG

6. To build a sane society, we need to train everyone who constitutes it – male or female. No one should be left out. #ListenUpNG

7. For this session, my focus is on the boy child and my messages shall be directed to parents, caregivers and guardians. #ListenUpNG

8. Parents must be the first agent of socialization to their boys. They must endeavour to be their highest influencer. #ListenUpNG

9. Programming boys to be real men is simply conditioning them & conditioning is first a mental thing before the physical reality#ListenUpNG

10. Individuating starts at the age of 2 and ends at 13. #ListenUpNG

10b. That is, a child starts forming his/her character at 2 and by 13, the character is formed. #ListenUpNG

11. Programming is best done during this period and the highest influencer in his/her life will be the programmer #ListenUpNG

12. Let’s start with age appropriate conditioning and then we move to what parents should teach their boy child. #ListenUpNG

13. Ages 0-7: In this period, every emotionally significant thing the child experiences tends to go straight into subconscious. #ListenUpNG

14. This makes most of the learnings during this period subconscious. #ListenUpNG

15. The most important things to a child during this period are parents. Mom and dad are the family hypnotists and influencer #ListenUpNG

16. So, how can you influence your child when you are not present in his life? #ListenUpNg

17. The things that you say to your children and your behavior are like implanting post-hypnotic suggestions into their minds. #ListenUpNG

18. Ages 8-13: Between the ages of eight and thirteen, children copy people, especially those that they want to be like. #ListenUpNG

19. Whatever value you have taught them between ages 0 and 7 determines who they consider a model between ages 8 and 13. #ListenUpNG

20. The child, both consciously and subconsciously, begins to model the behaviours of people around him. #ListenUpNG

20b. So, if he sees his dad cooks, he will want to do same. If he sees him assist in domestic chores, he would want to do too #ListenUpNG

21. Children begin to model or emulate the behaviour of their heroes and/or people who they look up to in their life. #ListenUpNG

21b. The question is who is your child’s hero? #ListenUpNG

22. Ages 14-18 Children are influenced by media esp those parts which seem to resonate with the values of their peer groups #ListenUpNG

23. During this stage the developing teenager begins to shift focus from family to friends. #ListenUpNG

23b……but whatever conditioning he has been given will be his guide. #ListenUpNG

24. So, what should parents teach their boys about real men? #ListenUpNg

25. In programming boys to become real men, boys should be taught responsibility and freedom. #ListenUpNG

26. If you have the freedom to eat in the house, you must take responsibility for doing the dishes. #ListenUpNG

27. Boys should know that penis only makes them a male and not a man. Dogs has penis and it does not make it a man. #ListenUpNG

28. Manhood should not be defined by roles anymore but by purpose and responsibility. #ListenUpNG

29. Parents should know that it is not wrong for their boys to cry. Bottling emotions is not the definition of real men. #ListenUpNG

30. Boys should be taught that cooking and domestic chores do not reduce who they are. #ListenUpNG

30b. They are only performing their responsibility as a member of their family. #ListenUpNG

31. Boys should be taught that body framework does not define who a real man is. #ListenUpNG

32. Boys should be taught that respect/submission are not prerogatives of the girl child alone. Respect should be given by all. #ListenUpNG

33. In becoming a real man, you must discover self and purpose. These are what make real men. #ListenUpNG

34. Boys should be taught that sex is not what makes real man. #ListenUpNG

35. Boys should be taught that no one owes him anything. Not his parent, not anyone. #ListenUpNG

36. In conclusion, conditioning is first mental through what you say and do in their presence. #ListenUpNG

37. In programming boys, family values must be taught and showed by the parents. #ListenUpNG

39. With this few point of mine, I hope you have learnt how to program boys to be men. #ListenUpNG

40. Thanks again to @KemiOdutayo for trusting me with her platform. #ListenUpNG

41. Thanks to everyone who followed through this class. Thanks for reading and retweeting. #ListenUpNG

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.