I am so sorry this blogpost is coming late. #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect How good are your communication skills? IN this post, Timi Oyebode broke down the elements of COMMUNICATION for better RELATIONSHIPS. Happy reading!

#ListenUpNG Most dangerous aspects of your relationships is not your weaknesses but your delusions of strength- Paul Tripp

#ListenUpNG One of the strengths we have been graced with but often not aware of is ‘communication’ – Communication is the back bone of every relationships; work place, marriage, social gatherings, parenting etc … Communication is what we say, what we do and what we imply.

#ListenUpNG There is often a discrepancy between ‘what we say, what we mean and what is heard’ that is, the POWER OF INTREPRETATIONS.

#ListenUpNG Power Of Interpretation is a strong determinant of the success or failure of any relationship? How skilled are you in saying what exactly you MEAN to say? How skilled are you at hearing what the other MEANT to tell you?

#ListenUpNG Are you saying what you MEANT? Are you hearing what is MEANT?

#ListenUpNG While your INTENT is clear in YOUR head, there are many factors that involve the translation of your intent to what ends up as meaning in the head of the other person.

#ListenUpNG Each individual hear words or actions based on some factors;
YOUR tone of voice
The specific words YOU choose
The context of the conversation
The experiences of the other person with you, the subject

The specific meanings the other person has for each of the words you use, both in terms of the actual meaning (denotative meaning), and their emotional associations with those words (connotative meaning).
The current emotional state of the other person (the state of mind)

#ListenUpNGINTERPRETATION is what the OTHER person gets from what you say, that is, what THAT person construct in his or her own mind (not as you have it in your own mind).

#ListenUpNG The mind is a powerful tool in communication and interpretation. It has its own unique encoding and decoding mechanism… it creates pictures, sounds and meaning to what is heard. That is, how powerful the mind is to interpretation.

#ListenUpNG Miscommunication often always happen as we are almost always focusing on what we WANT to get across, rather than focusing on what the other person is creating from what we say.

#ListenUpNG So often you may ask, ‘what interpretation or meaning is he or she giving to your words?’

#ListenUpNG While the ear hears sound, the mind processes it as IMAGES OR PICTURES to move towards or away from. WORDS PAINTS PICTURES… the speaker and the receiver sees pictures.

So as the speaker – are you communicating exactly the picture you have in mind? For the receiver- are you receiving the exact picture communicated to you or your mind is making up another picture based on your own INTREPRETATIONS?

#ListenUpNG Whatever you hear or say to or from the OTHER person, picture it objectively and positively first.

While you need to be clear about your communication INTENT, you also need to focus on the MEANING THE OTHER PERSON creates based on what you say.

#ListenUpNG Until Elisha’s servant eyes opened and he saw the mountain full of horses and chariot of fire all around Elisha, he was fearful and did not react the way his master expected initially.(2kgs 6:17) Until comprehension sets in, expectations may never be met.

#ListenUpNG Aim to understand what you heard before you respond and there would be less conflict around you.

Do not listen only with your own mind, focus on interpreting based on the OTHER person’s mind too. Connect to interpret.

#ListenUpNG The mind also often ignores the negative term ‘NOT’, so use it less in your conversations, focus on the positive, stating exactly what you want rather than what you do not want.

#ListenUpNG Be aware that you cannot CONTROL completely the meaning other people take from what you say but being conscious of this gives you a more advantageous position to lead your relationship(s) to a success and PAINT the picture you want the OTHER person to see and hear with your words.

#ListenUpNG “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:37 (ESV)

I honor you

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.