Hello everyone! Thank God It’s Friday and it’s another day to #ListenUpNG to one of our special guests in this November Edition. They include @Kingsley @sisilawyer101 @protouchLtd @Nikefolagade These are professionals in their areas of influence

Last week on #ListenUpNG We were privilege to have @Kingsley on board to tweet on why we need to be interested in each others parenting business. He emphasised that failure to imbibe this ‘culture’ may result in future disaster. His session was lit!💥

You can visit my blog www.kemiodutayo.com/blog to feast on past inspiring and educative sessions on #ListenUpNG by equally professional, passionate, impactful and dynamic guests. Trust me, you will be glad you did!

On #ListenUpNG We aim to motivate, educate, empower; educate and at times entertain our audience to make better and informed decisions in the area of relationships. That’s why #ListenUpNG is one of the Me4 Initiatives!👏👏👏

On today’s session, Aronke Omame is our special guest on #ListenUpNG Her twitter handle is @sisilawyer101 and she will be tweeting on the #RealLifeIssue in the banner below: WHITE WEDDING OR NOTHING/NO DEAL

This is a #RealLifeIssue that is responsible for some young men and women shying away from tieing the matrimonial knot. #ListenUpNG They want to wait till they are financially buoyant to have a church wedding and all the ‘works’

#ListenUpNG When I say, all the ‘works’, I mean it. Talk about a smashing proposal with a ‘rock’😍, a prewedding photoshoot, a bridal shower, bachelor bash, wedding gown, reception dress, a big hall with a ‘wow’ decoration or destination wedding, honeymoon to an exotic island…name it!

#ListenUpNG I love weddings…celebrity weddings…white weddings😘😍 But is this the only type of wedding that is legal, desirable and acceptable in our society? Especially amongst our ‘happening’ singles? #DearBaeNG #DearBooNG

Our guest on #ListenUpNG today, Aronke popularly known on social media as Sisilawyer @sisilawyer101 will take us through what I believe will be a comprehensive and enlightening session on ‘TYPE OF LEGAL & ACCEPTABLE MARRIAGES’

#ListenUpNG Aronke Omame @sisilawyer101 is a Family Counsel that troubleshoots legal issues that often cause conflict in marriages. She was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1979 and became a solicitor of England and Wales in 2003.

#ListenUpNG She was in very active legal practice for 22 years when she decided to concentrate on Business debt recovery and advise. In the course of those years she majored on family law issues, mostly conflict.

#ListenUpNG In the U.K. @sisilawyer101 worked as a family counsel and did her pro bono work in debt advise and management. However, since 2012, she has worked solely in the relationship space. She is a certified Family System Engineer and will be sharing with us from her wealth of experience

#ListenUpNG peeps! You can join the conversation by following my twitter handle @KemiOdutayo and hers. Tweet your questions at her after her session and I’m sure she will be glad to answer them! Fasten your searbelts, peeps! #DearBaeNG

It’s a great honour to have you on board #ListenUpNG today, @sisilawyer You are highly welcome. You can now kick off from your twitter handle. Happy tweeting😊

1. Marriage is a union of man & woman & beautiful with the right person It is for mutual comfort of one another and a formalization of love & friendship #ListenUpNG

2. Some jurisdictions recognize unions of people of the same gender but even then the union is called civil unions not marriage #ListenUpNG

3. Marriage is not the same as wedding. It is a lifelong promise to be together whereas wedding is a 1 or 2 day ceremony https://t.co/waRKuUBOUW

4. Many people believe that until they wear white dress their marriage is not legal. I have heard people say they will do trad and then legal marriage

5. Wedding ceremony has no dress code so don’t get into debt before you start your life together. The law says there must be only 2 witnesses at a wedding

6. Wedding ceremony can be attended by the couple and any other two people. The rest of the guests are a crowd. Two witnesses only sign the marriage certificate

6b. You need to concern yourself about valid marriage not a white wedding. What is a valid marriage? It’s about capacity to marry

7. Nigeria recognizes 3 kinds of marriage and each one is valid without a need to celebrate another (1) Islamic (2) traditional (3) Statutory. There is nothing like church wedding

8. Those marriages celebrated in church are done by pastors as agents of the state or government for statutory marriages. A pastor must be licensed to conduct the wedding else he can go to jail

9. The common requirement of all 3 kinds of marriages is that the couple must have capacity to marry. They must be able to and must consent to the marriage No forcing anyone

10. Their marital status must be such that they cm conduct such marriage and they must be of adult age. Child marriage is against the law of the land

11. Islamic marriage can only be valid when both parties are Muslims That’s why they perform ‘wolimot’ conversion before ‘nikah’ wedding when one is not a Muslim https://t.co/QLdk4OOOPB

12. ListenUpNG Trad marriages must be conducted in the lady’s trad. The man my be married before but only under trad law He must divorce if under any other law to be legally polygamous

13. #ListenUpNG A man who chooses to be polygamous has to be married to all his wives under traditional law He lacks capacity to marry one under statutory law and the other under trad law

14. #ListenUpNG With trad marriage the parties must give consent and be of the adult age. It is a valid marriage without any other ceremony

15. #ListenUpNG Once the dowry is paid the marriage is valid. People who go to church to wed after trad are actually married people not bride and groom

16. #ListenUpNG People who did trad marriage ceremony and decide to convert to statutory marriage when pregnant have not commited fornication They re married couples

17. #ListenUpNG There is no legal church wedding in our law. The church is an agent of government when they conduct marriage for people.

18. #ListenUpNG The law doesn’t prescribe the vows you take in church They have no force of law

19. #ListenUpNG The hood does not make the monk Just as the form of marriage does not make it a happy one

20. #ListenUpNG Many people go for the statutory marriage because it’s the only one that is set up to be monogamous but I always say a polygamous man will stray

21. #ListenUpNG Build the marriage and the man won’t stray even in a polygamous marriage.The ring won’t save your marriage

22. #ListenUpNG Traditional marriages are now certificated under the Births, Deaths etc Registration Act

23. #ListenUpNG You can get a certificate for your trad wedding from the local government office nearest to your place of ceremony and is valid for visa

24. #ListenUpNG Every marriage has a start date ( from this day forward) and an end date (till death do us part). Unless separated by a decree of divorce

25. #ListenUpNG Any person who marries another when he lacks capacity to marry because of a subsisting valid marriage commits Bigamy

26. #ListenUpNG Not all marriages are valid but they still have to get an order of court to invalidate the union

27. #ListenUpNG Marriage to someone who at the start date of the marriage is married to someone else needs to be invalidated by a court

28. #ListenUpNG The new trend of renewal of vows is the church’s way to make money. There is no legal basis. Get married properly renewal of vows won’t correct errors

29. #ListenUpNG All marriages are designed to be lifelong but if things go wrong all have the official way of ending it. Don’t be caught in Bigamy

30. #ListenUpNG Ask questions about getting married to get it right. The error could affect inheritance rights

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.