Hello friends! Welcome to yet another inspiring session on #ListenUpNG! #InCaseYouMissed the live tweetcast of Wk35 or you just want to read it uninterrupted, this is for you!

Our last special guest on the August Edition of #ListenUpNG was Tara Aisida and she tweeted via her twitter handle, @akanski


In the July Edition of #ListenUpNG we were privileged to have Feb Idahosa @Biupresident tweet on the same topic but from the male perspective

#InCaseYouMissed that particular session with Feb Idahosa…do click this link to read. You will be ‘wowed’ #ListenUpNG Wk27: http://wp.me/p6tkXz-xZ


#ListenUpNG Wk35 with Tara Aisida is a sequel. She gave us the feminine perspective and i must sat it was down to heart and very practical. #DearWifeyNG #DearBaeNG Could it be we are expecting so much from our men?

In recent times, we seem to have so many expectations of the male gender…expectations that if not met cause havoc in our relationships #ListenUpNG

#ListenUpNG Tara Aisida @akanski is a lawyer by profession and she is in active legal practise.

#ListenUpNG Tara however, has a passion for the family particularly, in parenting relating matters @akanski

#ListenUpNG You can read more about this passionate woman of integrity and experience here:

So let’s sit back, sit tight and #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect on the following tweets from #ListenUpNG Wk35 @akanski

1. Thank you for having me here and for the good work you are doing in promoting healthy relationships.#ListenUpNG

2. I am speaking on the unrealistic expectations of the 21st century woman. Who is the 21st century woman? She is you & I #ListenUpNG

3. educated,self assured, a woman who has come into her own, performing her traditional roles&engaging todays opportunities.#ListenUpNG

4. Unrealistic expectations are impractical things we look forward to and or anticipate, it can also be a mental attitude. #ListenUpNG

5. It is however noteworthy that though the 21st century woman has come a long way she still has unrealistic expectations .#ListenUpNG

6. of herself, her relationships, work & parenting. Her expectations have been formed by novels, music, films and reality shows.#ListenUpNG

7. These expectations have formed the way she reasons & have an effect on her as she is unable to accept or work with her reality#ListenUpNG

8.In her mind she has a picture of how her life, marriage, kids should be & act and judges each by those ideas and expectations#ListenUpNG

9. Some unrealistic expectations of herself are as follows- I am superwoman. I can and should be perfect in everything & area #ListenUpNG

9b. My dear don’t kill your self. Allow yourself some slack, at home , work and with the kids. Know and accept your limitations #ListenUpNG

10. Get help, outsource some things, focus on the important things, prioritise. Know your strengths and  build on them. #ListenUpNG

11. Don’t compare yourself with others. Live your life and enjoy each stage. Remember you only live once &life is for the living#ListenUpNG

12. “People should understand& know what i try to say”. We see things from perspectives coloured by our background & experiences#ListenUpNG

13. Words,events& actions are interpreted in the light of other’s perceptions & understanding and may convey different meanings#ListenUpNG

14. Endeavour to explain your actions and words properly and patiently . You must understand that people are different from you#ListenUpNG

15. Some unrealistic expectations in relationships are as follows-A. Marriage should make me happy. This is a complete fallacy#ListenUpNG

16. No one can make you happy, not your spouse, work or child. Not even money. Your happiness is determined by you & you alone#ListenUpNG

17. B.People should see things the way i see them. This is an unconscious expectation but wrong nevertheless.We are all different#ListenUpNG

18. We have different backgrounds&perspectives. What one sees as good maybe unacceptable to another and we are not always right #ListenUpNG

19. C. I will change him.People change because they want to change. No one, not even God can change anyone without their consent#ListenUpNG

20. D. He will change for me.Again this is a fallacy,he might change bcos of you but that will be his decision to make not yours#ListenUpNG

21. E. Falling and staying in love is an unconscious feeling that requires no conscious effort. Fa fa fa foul. #ListenUpNG

22. Relationships require hard work,sacrifices, compromise ,selflessness, time, patience and a lot of virtues to make them work#ListenUpNG

23. Love is a decision. It is an act of will not based on emotions or feelings. It takes a conscious effort to love, really love#ListenUpNG

24. E. If he loves me I should be the center of his world- though he cares deeply about you, he has other interests#ListenUpNG

25. A man is able to compartmentalise his feelings & emotions.He needs to be involved in other activities like sports,work etc#ListenUpNG

26. Let him have his space, take an interest in his activities and let him feel free to enjoy them. Also have other interests#ListenUpNG

27.F. He should know what I am thinking- He is not a wizard and doesn’t have an inkling as to what goes thru your mind #ListenUpNG

28. Men & women r different,whilst a woman can read different meanings into a sentence or scene a man sees d fact#ListenUpNG

29.G. A man should take care of everything.He should have money, problem solving skills & be a handyman to qualify as a real man#ListenUpNG

30. My dear, today’s men need our help.The economy & today’s realities require both parties to combine efforts for d good of all #ListenUpNG

31. Also, the fact that he is a man doesn’t mean he can do all your father or bro could do. We all have our strengths &weakness#ListenUpNG

32. Pls don’t stereotype him, celebrate his uniqueness. Ofttimes behind that facade is a sensitive soul who craves understanding#ListenUpNG

33. H.Our marriage will be filled with non-stop romance-Girl !!you’ve read too many mills & boons. Often, romance ends with I do#ListenUpNG

34.After the wedding, the pressures of day to day living ,work, finances,parenting take their toll & if not consciously pursued#ListenUpNG

35. romance flies out the window. Dates must be planned & common interests developed to keep the flames of passion alight#ListenUpNG

36.  Finally on relationships i must add the unrealistic expectation of women that their men will not look at other women #ListenUpNG

37. Closely related to the last post is the expectation that a man should love us only for our person and not our looks#ListenUpNG

38. The truth of the matter is that men are mainly attracted by what they see. That he looks at other women doesn’t mean a thing#ListenUpNG

39. Don’t make an issue of his looking ,accept it as being a male thing afterall we also look @other women too albeit discreetly#ListenUpNG

40.Finally as a mother,i think the main misconception about parenting most women have is that they will always like their kids.#ListenUpNG

41. Dear mum, it is totally possible to dislike someone you love at times. This happens especially when your kids start to grow#ListenUpNG

42. When they begin to have a mind of their own and start to question your every method, motive and action. #ListenUpNG

43. What to do -write down what you like about each kid and keep it handy for those days you feel exasperated. It does help#ListenUpNG

44. Not to worry those feelings don’t last for too long and sooner than later you will find yourself liking your loved ones#ListenUpNG

45. I hope i have helped in a small way to shine the light on some of our unconscious unrealistic expectations as women #ListenUpNG

46.I also hope I have been able to proffer realistic advice.Thank you so very much for taking the time to read thru the tweets#ListenUpNG

47. Finally, finally thank you @KemiOdutayo for having me on your great and impactful platform. Ciao#ListenUpNG

Host: Wow! Explosive! Inspiring! Interesting! Loads of food for thought for us women! And with that we come to the end of #ListenUpNG August Edition!

A big thank you to all my special guests on #ListenUpNG August Edition. I appreciate you all greatly! https://t.co/NyDIdwvFSZ


And to all my faithful tweeps and readers that keep following and retweeting and reading my blog, I say THANK YOU! You make it worth it!???????????? https://t.co/2wGzZ8o7tK

Till I bring yet another inspiring edition of #ListenUpNG your way in September, do remember that relationship is everything!????????

Sneak peek into #ListenUpNG September Edition…Keep your fingers crossed!????❤


About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.