Our guest on #ListenUpNG Wk33 was none other than @IphieAdizue I was so excited to have her on board last friday! https://t.co/U0dwKGuhXM

#ListenUpNG Ifeoma Chuks-Adizue @IphieAdizue fondly known as Iphie is a wife, mother, Career woman & Entrepreneur???????????? https://t.co/buGbBOj4EC

#ListenUpNG She is the Co-Founder/Managing Partner at Deluxe Childbirth Services – focusing… https://t.co/WjxFD6JeUL

Her firm has helped facilitate the birth of over 200 babies in the US; including 4 sets of twins and 1 set of triplets.@IphieAdizue

#ListenUpNG @IphieAdizue is deeply passionate about helping women realize their full potential… cc: @PHTafia https://t.co/PJ9jo2q6Nj

Do #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect on her thought provoking and instructive tweets. Do retweet to all your followers #ListenUpNG

1.Thanks a lot @KemiOdutayo for this opportunity 2share on ‘When She Earns More.’Interestingly, it’s 1question I’ve been asked. #ListenUpNG

2.Possibly bcos I’m employed&my husband runs his bizs but since biz income can’t be 100% guaranteed, we’ve had our highs & lows. #ListenUpNG

3.I’ll share today based on my experience. Irrespective of how much more a woman earns, there are principles of family finances. #ListenUpNG

4.That’s really the big issue here. I earn more, so must I give it all? If I keep giving, he’ll get spoilt and not bring at all. #ListenUpNG

5.Aren’t those the deep fears in our hearts? So first of all, I’d like to remind us of 3 facts. #ListenUpNG

6.1. Wives should respect their husbands based on who they are & not for what they have.So whether you bring it all,respect him. #ListenUpNG

7.Respect him through your thoughts, words and actions in private and in public. #ListenUpNG https://t.co/SJMrKfuQe0

8.2. Remember your vows? You promised to be there in good times & in otherwise. To be his companion, pillar, confidant & helper. #ListenUpNG

9.3. The onus is on us women to build our homes. This means planting the right seeds, nurturing them but also lots of wisdom. #ListenUpNG

10.Oh yes…wisdom! Wisdom to know when to start and when to stop; when to take a pause and when to seek help. #ListenUpNG

11.Abuse is inevitable when purpose is unknown. As a woman who earns more & supports her husband which is the right thing to do…#ListenUpNG

12…this support can be abused if you both aren’t on the same page on things like what’s the man’s responsibility to hisfamily..#ListenUpNG

13.…what’s his take on your role in the finances and even what are the key things that the family finances should be spent on. #ListenUpNG

14.The Bible says a man who can’t take care of his home is worse than an infidel; but there was the virtuous woman did alot in her home.

15.So it’s important for a woman to add value to the home; but she should not take over a man’s responsibility for him home. #ListenUpNG

16. Of course things happen and she may need to step in esp. if she earns more. But what is the guide here. What should she do? #ListenUpNG

17.Step 1: Ask yourself if there is a fundamental issue? If you both have good paying jobs but you earn slightly more. For me, this is fine.

18.He is hard-working and you are just favored to have a better paying job. Here, pls work with what your husband can afford. #ListenUpNG

19. Support at home as much as you can without bruising his ego and save all excesses for the future and the children. #ListenUpNG

20.If he says it’s in Ikeja he can afford rent, don’t do drama to live in Lekki bcos you can afford it.Be wise and respect him! #ListenUpNG

21.If you manage to convince him to do Lekki with your support, wonderful! But don’t run your mouth 2mrw saying you paid rent. #ListenUpNG

22.If you are not sure you can bridle your tongue, please stay in Ikeja and save the excess cash or invest for the family. #ListenUpNG

23.If you earn alot more or he lost his job or his income is not regular; as a wife & his helper, you have 2important roles here.#ListenUpNG

24. You are not just supposed to support financially BUT importantly support him to getting back on his feet. #ListenUpNG

25. How can you RESPECTFULLY help him get a better job? How can you ensure he isn’t broke & always has to ask you for money? #ListenUpNG

26. How can you respectfully help him start/grow his dream business? I advice women to bring their income home…#ListenUpNG

27…and with your input, let him decide how it should be spent. This makes him feel respected and like the man of the house. #ListenUpNG

28.Note though that with time, he’ll get restless&that’s why it’s important to set in motion a plan to get him back on his feet. #ListenUpNG

29.This plan might require you giving him seed capital or substantial amounts of money to start off. This brings us to Step #2. #ListenUpNG

31. Remember the parable of the sower? You need to ascertain if your man is ‘the shallow soil’, ‘the field of thorns’ or ‘the good soil’.

32.If he is the shallow soil, your seed will not take root. What does this mean? What kind of orientation does your man have? #ListenUpNG

33.Is he comfortable with you providing 4 the family?Was he spoilt growing up or is used to getting his wants without hard work?#ListenUpNG

34.If yes, working a plan to get him back on his feet will not take root. Deep down, he is comfortable with you running the show…#ListenUpNG

35…so even if you go ahead with the plan, it will most likely not materialize. That’s why it’s important to marry wisely! #ListenUpNG

36.What can you do?Pray to God 2change his heart, 2arrest him as he did Saul&stamp the truth of his responsibility on his heart.#ListenUpNG

37.If your man is as the field of thorns, your seed may most likely be swallowed by other things. What does this mean? #ListenUpNG

38. Does your man have financial burdens or negative financial habits that will swallow the seed before it yields? #ListenUpNG

39.E.g loans, extended family needs that he feels funny sharing with you always or bad money habits – compulsive spending etc. #ListenUpNG

40.This means that as you invest in this plan, this money may not be used for the purpose but swallowed up by all these things. #ListenUpNG

41.In this case, what do you do?You need to know these thorns,discuss them openly with him and agree a plan to keep them at bay. #ListenUpNG

42.…at least until the plan to set him back on his feet is established and yielding fruit. #ListenUpNG

43.If your man is as the good soil – he knows his responsibility to his home&is ready to put his all to get back on his feet; great!

44.In this case, don’t over-track him as he might see it as you don’t believe in him. Nevertheless, be there for him. #ListenUpNG

45.Irrespective of who your man is, encourage him with words of encouragement, prayers&actions dt show you care&believe in him. #ListenUpNG

46.Remember he that finds a wife obtains favour from God…step in the gap for your husband and remind God of His word. #ListenUpNG

47.Never let your children see you as the chief provider. Refer them to dad. Later, you both discuss,agree&he dispenses the final verdict.

48.Don’t let the extra challenges affect your job or business; keep your personal challenges away from the work area. #ListenUpNG

49.Don’t let your job replace your man, your special time 2geda or even love-making time. It does a lot to his mind and body. #ListenUpNG

50.Finally, be strong! It’ll all end in your favour; and it’s not over until it’s ALL GOOD! #ListenUpNG

Sneak peek into #ListenUpNG Wk34. Watch out for @nneomaeffanga1 as she takes us on POLISH…AFTER SAYING I DO!


#DearWifeyNG If you truly want to up your game, spiritually, physically and psychologically, don’t miss #ListenUpNG Wk34 with @nneomaeffanga1

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.