11380129_429518317251225_1314752345_nYippee! It’s Friday! #ListenUpNG A MUST FOR EVERY MARRIED AND SINGLE!  Let’s find out the MYTHS COUPLES BELIEVE

Good evening everyone! Welcome to #ListenUp Wk30! Our Special Guest for today’s session is @bisi_adebayo

@bisi_adebayo is a Barrister at Law. She is happily married for over two decades to her heartthrob @DayoAdebayo #ListenUpNG

ListenUpNG @bisi_adebayo, mum of two adults, a teenager and a preteen is a counsellor extraordinaire!

@bisi_adebayo is the CEO, Real Estate Deravatives, a real estate firm and a partner at the Adebayo&Adebayo (Legal Practitioners) #ListenUpNG

@bisi_adebayo is also the President of the Women of Destiny Fellowship of Daystar Christian Center, Lagos-Nigeria #ListenUpNG @NikeAdeyemi

A woman of faith, depth and experience especially in marital issues, @bisi_adebayo will be sharing on: MYTHS COUPLES BELIEVE #ListenUpNG

Her session is a MUST for every married couple and Singles desiring to join the ‘institution’. @bisi_adebayo #ListenUpNG

#ListenUpNG Get ready with your questions, retweet and engage our guest after her session. Let’s debunk these myths! @bisi_adebayo

#ListenUpNG Now, join me to make welcome a very dear friend and big sister, @bisi_adebayo. Over to you, ma’am! It’s an honour to have you!

Good evening everyone. I am excited to be discussing on #ListenUpNG about: Myths Couples Believe.

1/ Myths are fictitious traditional beliefs. Many have sadly based life defining decisions on these fallacies. #ListenUpNG

2/ Nothing worthwhile can be built on lies, half-truths & false assumptions. Many have been “sincerely wrong” & have paid dearly. #ListenUpNG

3/ One area where myths must never be entertained is marriage. Your philosophy & belief must be based on the truth, God’s design. #ListenUpNG

4/ Myths about marriage give unrealistic expectations. Believing them is a journey on a highway that leads to disappointment.  #ListenUpNG

5/ MYTH 1: One famous myth is that MARRIAGE WILL END YOUR LONELINESS. Many married people are still very lonely.  #ListenUpNG

6/ Companionship in marriage is not only physical. It can be social or even intellectual. You work at it to achieve it.  #ListenUpNG

7/ MYTH 2: The FULFILMENT FALLACY is another myth. A couple complements one another, NOT Completes one another.  #ListenUpNG

8/ No one can complete another human being. We are only complete in God. Col. 2:9-10.  #ListenUpNG

9/ MYTH 3: ROMANCE WILL ALWAYS BE IN A GOOD MARRIAGE. Desirable as this is, it is not always so.  #ListenUpNG

10/ In marriage, there are highs & lows. You will not always feel “lovey dovey”. A decision to love helps you through.  #ListenUpNG

11/ MYTH 4: I WILL BECOME JOYFUL WHEN MARRIED.God is your source of joy. If you don’t have joy within you won’t find it without.  #ListenUpNG

12/ MYTH 5: HAPPY COUPLES DON’T ARGUE. It is a danger signal when couples don’t disagree or express diverse views on issues.  #ListenUpNG

13/ Not arguing could signal a lack of truthfulness & emotional intimacy. Argue but don’t explode!  #ListenUpNG

14/ MYTH 6: YOUR DIFFERENCES WILL RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE. No, they don’t have to. The way you respond to those differences can. #ListenUpNG

15/ Discussing your differences will pave the way for better understanding. #ListenUpNG

16/ It is not your compatibility that makes your union happy. It is what you do with & how you deal with incompatibility.#ListenUpNG

17/ MYTH 7: HAVING KIDS BRING COUPLES CLOSER. Truth is they can push the couple apart and can at times add to or create stress.#ListenUpNG

18/ Kids don’t bring you closer, its the experience of parenting together & memories made together that strengthens your bond. #ListenUpNG

19/ MYTH 8: HAPPY COUPLES HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. Not bad in itself. It is however healthy to pursue your personal interests #ListenUpNG

20/ Don’t be forced to do things you don’t enjoy. It gives rise to resentment and a feeling of being trapped #ListenUpNG

21/ Explore & celebrate your individuality & uniqueness, even while building intimacy with your spouse. #ListenUpNG

22/ MYTH 9: LOVE IS ENOUGH. Truth is when real relational conflicts occur, love may be inadequate. #ListenUpNG

23/ In reality,that powerful positive feeling that makes us walk on air can be replaced by intense anger,distrust & even disgust.#ListenUpNG

24/ What saves the day many times is tenacity, perseverance & continuity in spite of all odds.#ListenUpNG

25/ Just keeping on, realising love is not a feeling, it is a decision. #ListenUpNG

26/ MYTH 10: HIS OR HER FAMILY WILL BE LIKE MINE. Sounds nice & right but is hardly ever the case. #ListenUpNG

27/ Family systems differ and develop over long periods of time. Handling issues with your own family system mindset may not work #ListenUpNG

28/ Some families avoid clashes & won’t disagree openly. Others are adept at it,resolving differences openly  with civility #ListenUpNG

29/ An attempt to discuss family issues with inlaws that operate a differing family system will be resisted resulting in hostility #ListenUpNG

30/ A conduct that will be accepted coming from a biological child may not be tolerated from a son or daughter in law #ListenUpNG

31/ Know your place. Operate in love & with a good understanding of your in laws’ expectations #ListenUpNG

32/ MYTH 11: ONCE MARRIED, WE WILL HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER. Living together doesn’t guarantee quality, tangible time together #ListenUpNG

33/ When courting you had dates to guarantee quality time & intimate interaction. Carry the formula over into marriage! #ListenUpNG

34/ It works wonders in marriage! Plan dates. Schedule time for exclusive quality interaction. #ListenUpNG

35/ MYTH 12: WE WILL REMAIN SEXUALLY ATTRACTED. The shivers and skipping of heart beats during courtship don’t last for life. #ListenUpNG

36/ If shivers & skipped heart beats lasted a decade,there would be causalities due to cardiac arrests. Passion settles over time #ListenUpNG

37/ Sex appeal in marriage must be actively and deliberately sustained.#ListenUpNG

38/ In marriage, the art of seduction is legal & a must, otherwise your sex life will rot. #ListenUpNG

39/ MYTH 13: MARRIAGE WILL CHANGE MY SPOUSE. What you see is what you get or do I say wed? #ListenUpNG

40/ At the wedding, your Spouse automatically and effortlessly evolves into a married version of who he or she was. #ListenUpNG

41/ MYTH 14: YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Desirable, but he or she shouldn’t be the only best friend. #ListenUpNG

42/ Apart from friendship with your Spouse, cultivate other meaningful relationships. Friendships are refreshing & sustaining. #ListenUpNG


44/ The happily ever after myth can be your real life experience if you adjust your goggles and perspectives #ListenUpNG

45/ Marriage is a journey you can decide to enjoy, not just endure. #ListenUpNG

46/ It is decision based. Decision backed up with positive action. #ListenUpNG

47/ Thank you for your time and attention. I will be available to answer questions tweeted at me.#ListenUpNG.

@bisi_adebayo Thank you so much! It is a privilege having you! Awesome! #DearWifeyNG #DearHubbyNG It will do us a world of good  to note these

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.