Welcome to another session in the MAY EDITION of #ListenUpNG. We are still discussing #RealLifeIssues relating to #Singles.

What exactly is courtship and what is this period really meant for? Our guest on #ListenUpNG Wk21 is Oluyemisi Omotola Akere.

Yemisi is a Lawyer, Chartered Secretary (ACIS). SheOluyemisi Omotola Akere attended Queens College, studied Law in Unilag and holds an MBA from University of Hull.

She is an Employer of Labour, Mother to many adopted Children, Caterer & Food Basket of Nations.

Oluyemisi is a whole Single, who has had her fair share of ups and downs, on the dating scene. She is in courtship & about to tie the knot to the glory of GOD.

She is passionate about Relationships, Women & Children. She is The Encourager.

Join me as I welcome her on board! Do #RestReadRelaxAndReflect on these nuggets

Thank you to ALMIGHTY GOD, Aunty @KemiOdutayo for this platform & privilege, @osas102 for ur support, I am immensely grateful. #ListenUpNG

1. Courtship is the period in a relationship which precedes a Couple’s engagement and wedding. It may be formal or informal. #ListenUpNG

2. The Man woos the Woman & makes His intention known to Her & Her family. This period is when they get to observe each other. #ListenUpNG

3. As with every endeavour in life, it comes in phases. Before a Relationship advances 2this stage, wise counsel must be sought. #ListenUpNG

4. “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14. #ListenUpNG

5. All protocols must be observed, my intended went through hurdles. My Dad, My Mentors & My Pastors. It’s for your own good. #ListenUpNG

6. Don’t try to circumvent or shorten the process it portrays your value as a Woman, it builds your patience as a Man. #LIstenUpNG

7. Opinions vary as to the length of time, it should not be too short, yet it should not take eternity. There must be a balance. #ListenUpNG

8. In @DaystarNG We have a standard, both parties seek counsel and then pick a courtship form, they are assigned a Counsellor. #ListenUpNG

9. This is very pivotal, as the Counsellor serves as a Spiritual impartial umpire, that sees with “clear eyes” and has no bias. #ListenUpNG

10. The HOLY SPIRIT remains the number one guide, HE is our SATNAV, that helps us navigate from dating to courtship to marriage. #ListenUpNG

11. Life is governed by principles, courtship isn’t different. There exist Dos & Don’ts. ‘Relationship Best Practice’ #ListenUpNG

12. From the onset the rules of engagement must be defined, boundaries set and any reservations appropriately dealt with. #ListenUpNG

13. In my past relationships & friendships, I felt being quiet & always agreeable was tantamount 2 having a good relationship! #ListenUpNG

14. Whatever you sweep under the carpet in courtship, will eventually cause you to trip in marriage. Communication is vital! #ListenUpNG

15. Transparency & Honesty are key 2a healthy courtship/marriage. Be open with each other, even when it hurts. I remember!. #ListenUpNG

16) I have a friend in Ghana, we were fond of each other & enjoyed healthy banter, so we got chatting & I deleted the chats! #ListenUpNG

17. I was uncomfortable, bcos we had Honesty as a rule, so I told my Fiancé, without mincing words, I couldn’t flow in deceit. #ListenUpNG

18. He also had one or two Ladies that tried to meddle into the waters of our relationship, our discussing it, killed it. #ListenUpNG

19. 3rd party intrusion kills a relationship faster, than insecticide kills mosquitoes. Others can play an advisory role. #ListenUpNG

20. Only GOD should play a mandatory role, others may advise, only GOD’S counsel can suffice. Avoid meddlesome interlopers. #ListenUpNG

21. Eccl4:12″And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, 2 will withstand him—a 3fold cord is not quickly broken.” #ListenUpNG

22. Understanding your partner’s wiring is key, their Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, Financial & Social makeup is key. #ListenUpNG

23. What works in courtship A, may not suffice for courtship B, please don’t compare your relationship with others, it’s folly. #ListenUpNG

24. Love language is crucial in this phase, how you express love & how your partner wants you to express it may be different. #ListenUpNG

25. At the initial stage, we had teething issues, I enjoy chatting via whatsapp, bbm etc, He enjoys phone calls, unlike me. #ListenUpNG

26. Quality time i like, but Physical touch is my main love language as well as His, this is tricky soil, like Federer on Clay. #ListenUpNG

27. If you are Single, dating into courtship or few days to your wedding, this is an area you want to watch out for. Chemistry! #ListenUpNG

28. I am a firm Believer in NO pre-marital sex. However, spending “Quality Time” with a love language of “Physical Touch” !!!! #ListenUpNG

29. Unless you’re the statue of the 3men at entrance 2Lagos “Aro Meta”, there will be chemistry, even the statue moved2 Alausa. #ListenUpNG

30. The more time you spend with each other, the more comfortable you become, if care is not taken, you’ll let your guard down! #ListenUpNG

31. Accountability to GOD, your Counsellor and Mentors is pivotal here, you are not 007, also remember the boundaries set! #ListenUpNG

32. We made a rule from the beginning, that if we ever got tempted, one person must be strong for the other. This has helped. #ListenUpNG

33. Temptation is real, Speaking in tongues or saying prayers in the face of temptation is like fire & petrol. Flee first!!!. #ListenUpNG

34. Just because others are doing it & escaping is no guarantee that you will, King Saul’s grace & King David’s is different. #ListenUpNG

35. Be totally honest with your Counsellor, if u start your foundation on deceit, you’ll build on compromise & end in shambles. #ListenUpNG

36. Being true to yourself and to each other, will ameliorate the effects of the bumps as you grow in Courtship. Be Real! #ListenUpNG

37. Some intended Couples, pretend to be who they are not, just to settle down, be an “Open Book” Lead & Love with integrity. #ListenUpNG

38. Thrash issues on an Ad Hoc Basis. Don’t ruminate, it leads 2resentment. Initially my Fiancé avoided arguments or conflict. #ListenUpNG

39. Get 2know your likes and dislikes, this is a period of discovery, learn what makes Him/Her happy. Its in the little things. #ListenUpNG

40. Get to know each other’s Siblings, be-friend your Fiancé’s family and friends, they are new members of a larger family. #ListenUpNG

41. Document your plans, encourage each other, the times and seasons are discouraging enough. Pray, Play & Plan together. #ListenUpNG

42. Be quick to settle your quarrels, admit your faults and move on. I struggled with this at inception, I would sulk for days #ListenUpNG

43. It took the HOLY SPIRIT to break Us in our areas of weakness. In fact, HE is still breaking Us, with each passing day. #ListenUpNG

44. As you make wedding plans, don’t try to break the bank to impress anyone, plan for the marriage & not just the wedding! #ListenUpNG

45. Be sensitive and prayerful, for your adversary the devil, goes back & forth seeking which relationship to destroy. #ListenUpNG

46. Don’t see marriage as a destination, see it as a journey, as part of fulfilling your divine mandate. Enjoy the process. #ListenUpNG

47. There are days you will question your conviction, as 2whether to go ahead, fall back on revelation, what GOD said is final! #ListenUpNG

48. Singles, please don’t spend your time waiting 2be married, serve, build yourself & keep busy, in GOD’S time it will happen. #ListenUpNG

49. Don’t take out past experiences on your Fiancé, no two people or relationships are identical. Be lovable & ready to love. #ListenUpNG

50. There is Beauty in Simplicity & Simplicity in Beauty. Keep it simple, keep it fresh, keep it lively, but most of all, keep it real. Lots of Love #ListenUpNG

Wow! Simple yet profound! Are you Single? Or you know someone who is? Today’s session on #ListenUpNG is a ‘wow”! A must read!

@Yemisi_Akere touched on the issue of sex be4 marriage ???? Next week on #ListenUpNG, @tekenaikoko will be taking us further on another #RealLifeIssue in relationships


Is there a process to SEX or do you just happen to have sex? Join me as I host @tekenaikoko next week on #ListenUpNG

Till my next post next week, lets be deliberate and intentional in our relationships. See you!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.