This session on #ListenUpNG will be of great help! Someone asked, “what does being ‘savvy’ has to do with today’s topic on #ListenUpNG?”

Check this out!


Are you wise? Are you discerning? Do you want to be deliber6abd purposeful about your relationship as a single lady or guy? Stay glued to my TL in this month of May!????

Friends, join me as I welcome Victor on today’s session on #ListenUpNG. #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect

Thank you for this opportunity, WOG @KemiOdutayo #ListenUpNG

1.Singlehood is not a disadvantage,but it can be a painful phase when U compare urself with friends who are married.#ListenUpNG ListenUpNG

2. Comparison is a recipe for psychological torture. #ListenUpNG

2b. Comparison is a seed for low self-esteem. #ListenUpNG

3. Unfortunately, in some societies, singles are not accorded the respect they deserve. #ListenUpNG

4. Some organizations, including religious ones, do not allow singles take on some positions. #ListenUpNG

5. The perception is often that being single makes you vulnerable to certain temptations. #ListenUpNG

6. I often ask, does getting married change the nature of an irresponsible man? Is marriage a conversion machine? #ListenUpNG

7. It is who we are we bring into marriage! This is what marriage amplifies. #ListenUpNG

8. Hence, if you are a loving man/woman, marriage gives you a unique platform to demonstrate it. #ListenUpNG

9. Singlehood is not a curse, a disability or a disadvantage. #ListenUpNG

9b. It is an opportunity to prepare and build yourself to be the type of person that can attract your ideal spouse. #ListenUpNG

10. In other words, to marry the right spouse, you must be the right person. The journey begins with you. #ListenUpNG

11. A good spouse is also looking for a good spouse ???? #ListenUpN

12.The more quality you build into yourself,the more you position yourself to attract your type of spouse.Common values attract.#ListenUpNG

13. The fact remains that you can’t marry everyone. #ListenUpNG

14. The truth remains that who we are as singles is what we bring into the marriage.#ListenUpNG

15. Not everyone can be your spouse, some people are travelling in the opposite direction. #ListenUpNG

16. This is why we need to be savvy. To be savvy is to be shrewd. #ListenUpNG

17. This is one decision you must make right because of the potential impact it can have on your life and wellbeing. #ListenUpNG

18. Before you propose, be sure you know who you will be ‘travelling’ with. #ListenUpNG

19. Relationship is about interdependence, what are you bringing to the table? #ListenUpNG

20. Singlehood is not a curse, don’t define it through cultural lens. #ListenUpNG

21. Singlehood is about self-discovery. #ListenUpNG

22. If you don’t know who you are, how would you know who is suitable for you? #ListenUpNG

23. If you are looking for someone to change your status, you may be looking for a sponsor, not a spouse. #ListenUpNG

24. Engagement ring is an engagement to something, be sure you know who you are getting engaged to. #ListenUpNG

25. There is a reason why it is called a proposal, find out if what he is proposing is in alignment with your destiny. #ListenUpNG

26. Investigate the background of your prospective spouse. #ListenUpNG

27. What to look out for depends on what your priority is. We all have qualities that occupy the top of our list.#ListenUpNG

28. These qualities should be strategic; aligned to who we are and where we want to go.#ListenUpNG

29. However, there are fundamental qualities you need to make relationship work. #ListenUpNG

30. A. Common values. This makes decision making easy. #ListenUpNG

31. Life and marriage are about decisions. Decisions of where to live, where to worship, financial decisions, etc. #ListenUpNG

32. B. A secure person. #ListenUpNG

33. I have seen people with amazing capabilities, but a shadow of themselves; no impact because they married an insecure spouse.#ListenUpNG

34.Insecure people are very controlling, demanding & selfish.These traits can have negative impact on your wellbeing long-term. #ListenUpNG

35. C. Core relationships. Check how they relate with people who depend on them. #ListenUpNG

36. Marriage is about relationships, you will have in-laws, siblings and friends of spouse. #ListenUpNG

37. Listen for the comments they make about people. Do they see people as problems or prospects? #ListenUpNG

38. Their perspective of people would determine how they handle relationships. #ListenUpNG

39. D. Habits. Financial habits; are they chronic debtors? Do they abuse any form of drug? Do they have friends who do? #ListenUpNG

40. People can make a good impression when they want something, but when you know what to look for, you won’t be deceived. #ListenUpNG

41. E. Character traits to avoid. Arrogant entitlement, no proof of remorse when they make mistakes, loves ‘drama’, … #ListenUpNG

41b. …has chains of short-term relationships.

42. Red flags

1. If you lack inner peace. Your heart skips any time you think of marrying this person. #ListenUpNG

42b. God leads with inner peace. Marry someone in whose presence you can be yourself. #ListenUpNG

43. 2. Living together. This shrouds your sense of judgement, blinding your eyes to obvious pitfall, laying a wrong foundation. #ListenUpNG

44. 3. There is physical/verbal abuse. Never tolerate this, even if you are told it’s borne out of ‘love’. #ListenUpNG

45. 4. Does not have anyone who can call him/her to order. He/she may be a loose canon in the making. #ListenUpNG

46. On the other hand, has someone who controls his/her life’s decisions. #ListenUpNG

47. 5. Pressuring you for sex every chance he/she gets. #ListenUpNG

47b. He/she may be delusional or using emotions to distract you from real issues you should be discussing. #ListenUpNG

48. 6. No actual commitment/proposal/no actual wedding date in sight.

48b. You are just in an endless relationship. This has wasted the time of a lot of singles. #ListenUpNG

49. 7. Shady about many things like family, work, friends,… You know practically nothing personal about them. #ListenUpNG

48. 6. No actual commitment/proposal/no actual wedding date in sight. #ListenUpNG

49. Few questions to ask – 1. What role does God’s Word play in his/her decisions? Is he/she selfless in decision making? #ListenUpNG

49b. 2. What is his/her attitude towards women/men? Respectful?
3. What do you think he/she is looking for most in a spouse?#ListenUpNG

49c. 4. What has been his/her previous experience with dating and romance? Does he/she have children? You need to know. #ListenUpNG

49d. 5. What is his/her disposition towards children, having a working class spouse(some want full-time spouses),finances? #ListenUpNG

50. Finally, don’t put your life on hold while waiting. Get active with your purpose. #ListenUpNG

Thank you so much @KemiOdutayo for the opportunity. #ListenUpNG

@FamilyAffairs05 Wow! Powerful! Amazed at how you were reeling out the points! #DearBaeNG #DearBooNG #ListenUpNG https://t.co/NPpXfiyK2Y

@FamilyAffairs05 All your tweets are pointers that while Single are following their hearts, they should take their brains along! #ListenUpNG

Thank you once again for this inspiring and thought provoking session on #ListenUpNG, Victor. Awesome session!

Next week on #ListenUpNG Wk20, make it a date as I host @RSegundada Check out the #RealLifeIssue to be discussed!


What exactly is THE PLACE OF FRIENDSHIP in a relationship? Next week on #ListenUpNG Wk20, watch out for @RSegundada

Till I come your way next week, let’s be deliberate about our relationships #ListenUpNG We are #DiscussingSinglehood

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.