Hello everyone! Welcome to yet another inspiring session on #ListenUpNG, your weekly mentoring event on twitter! #RealLifeissues #Relationships TGIF!

#InCaseYouMissedIt ???? Last week’s session on #ListenUpNG was ‘wow’! Do click link to read the compilation http://wp.me/p6tkXz-F1

Today on #ListenUpNG, we will be discussing the #RealLifeIssue: HELP! MY TEENAGER IS NO LONGER TALKING TO ME!

Our guest this evening on #ListenUpNG is Biodun Odunukwe @biodunodunukwe a Family Life Practitioner with years of experience; working with teenagers.

#ListenUpNG Lets check out this scenario. Tonia noticed Paul, her fourteen year old son has gone all secretive on her.

He barely spoke these days. He seems to be perpetually preoccupied. She wondered how he cope with his studies #ListenUpNG

Something is wrong. She can sense it. Her friend was just gisting her about how her thirteen year old daughter has started acting out too #ListenUpNG

#ListenUpNG How can they reach these ‘budding adults’. What exactly is wrong? How can they help? ????

Join me as I welcome my guest @biodunodunukwe on board today’s session on #ListenUpNG. Let’s discuss this #RealLifeIssue Over to you, ma’am!

Thank you very much @KemiOdutayo , its a pleasure to be invited here again on #ListenUpNG

Hello tweeps, nice to have you all on board #ListenUpNG

1. Teenagers are peculiar people #ListenUpNG @redefinedwoman1

2. They are interesting to relate with, but could be difficult to handle if the right skills are not employed @yinkanubi #ListenUpNG

3. Our relationship with our teenagers especially as parents need to be nutured right from their preteen years #ListenUpNG @AuntyBimbo

4. This makes it easier to have a smooth ride with them when they become Teenagers #ListenUpNG

6. There could be exceptions no doubt #ListenUpNG @KemiOdutayo

7. Of situations where u have an interesting relationship wt ur preteen and the relationship becomes uninteresting @fagbemiola1 #ListenUpNG

8. When he or she becomes a Teenager, however, the positive foundation of the relationship #ListenUpNG

9. developed in the earlier years can stand the test of time in future years #ListenUpNG @BimbohChekwas

10. Let us look at the scenario of Tonia and Paul in today’s episode of Help! My teenager is no longer talking to me” #ListenUpNG

10. It is important for parents to note that their teenagers have gotten to new stage in life #ListenUpNG

11. A stage where they experience various transformations , physical, emotional and otherwise #ListenUpNG @@abbeysonprisca

12. A stage where they begin to have new discoveries about themselves and their environment #ListenUpNG @tosinpraise

13. New imaginations, aspirations, dreams , just name it #ListenUpNG

14. A new life so to speak #ListenUpNG @KemiOdutayo

16. I am sure many of us are familiar with these experiences with our teenagers #ListenUpNG

17. Tonia need not fret about Paul, however several approaches could be used to reach out to Paul #ListenUpNG

18. She is expected to know what interests her son #ListenUpNG

19. And could approach him through his interests e.g engage in a conversation of interest, hang out together, #ListenUpNG

20. engage in some academic work together, etc. This wd depend on how previous parent-child relationship has been #ListenUpNG

21. Where these doesn’t achieve the result based on pre-existing factors, one may go through his close friends #ListenUpNG @gbonjute

22.Teachers or any trusted adult whom the teenager considers as a mentor #ListenUpNG

23. Getting a teenager to Open Up on issues affecting him/her is critical to understanding his/her needs #ListenUpNG

24. What is your present state with your teen? #ListenUpNG

25. Are you happy, sad, frustrated, excited? #ListenUpNG

27. If you are in a positive state, i congratulate you. If it is negative, you have to redefine the negativity #ListenUpNG

28. And turn it into a positive one for the sake of achieving success with your teen. #ListenUpNG

29. Interrogate your teen with caution and reframe your expressions so as to get them to understand that you truly care #ListenUpNG

30. Turning a negative state into a positive one requires that u intentionally change the meaning of how you feel #ListenUpNG @KemiOdutayo

32. If a child FAILS an exam for example, that naturally makes any parent SAD! #ListenUpNG @KemiOdutayo

32. Rather than seeing the situation as a Fail and tagging your child a Failure, see it as a feedback and an opportunity…#ListenUpNG

33…for better performance. This may be difficult for parents to do but it is possible #ListenUpNG @KemiOdutayo

34. How we feel about our Teens and their perceptions about those feelings wd determine their responses to us #ListenUpNG @redefinedwoman1

35. These tips are helpful: Give your teenager some level of freedom where necessary(but not to their detriment) #ListenUpNG

36. Do not withdraw from your teen when you sense any form of discomfort or disappointments #ListenUpNG @Kemitalkin

36. Ur withdrawal may be interpreted as outright rejection by ur teenager n may lead to more engagement in destructive activities#ListenUpNG

38. Always engage your teenager in discussions . Do not overdo it. #ListenUpNG @KemiAkinloye

Question 1: What do you do when your teenager refuse to tell you ‘things’ for the fear of being labelled a ‘snitch’?

Answer: You may need the help of trusted and experienced individuals (or the teens’ sibblings) #ListenUpNG

Question 2: How do you deal with their ‘know-it-all-attitude’? Their rebellion?

Answer: When you tell them things and they counter it, go an extra mile to support it with evidence to them.

Question 3: What’s the difference between PUNISHMENT and DISCIPLINE?And how best can we as parents utilise these effectively?

Answer: Parents must understand the difference between Discipline and Punishment to be able to apply them correctly

Discipline: Correcting a child for an unacceptable behaviour and leading him through a process to acquire an acceptable behaviour #LIstenUpNG #ListenUpNG

Punishment on the other hand involves causing a child to experience pain because of an offence #ListenUpNG

Parents must understand the difference between Discipline and Punishment to be able to apply them correctly #ListenUpNG

Question 4: How do parents/guardians help their kids/wards best deal with peer pressure?

Answer: Getting closer to their children’s friends, understanding who they are, where they are from and following up wt them #ListenUpNG

Question 5: What if the teenagers’ revelations are just too shocking and alarming? How do we proceed?

Answer: Calm down and and get help quick! #ListenUpNG

Question 6: When should parents/guardians begin to fret over an overly quiet child?

Answer: When all your attempts seem to fail over a period of time. It may be time to bring in a professional and experienced hand.

Lastly, what are your final words to parents/wards?

Final words : An analog parent cannot parent a digital child. Step up parents and create time for ur kids #ListenUpNG

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.