2017 #ListenUpNG Wk13: CONNECTION


1. Hello everyone! As the month of March comes to an end today, i welcome you to the last season of #ListenUpNG this month.

2. Last week on #ListenUpNG we discussed the #RealLifeIssue of issueing #Ultimatum in with the aim of forcing the other party to ‘comform’ or ‘comply’.

3. #ListenUpNG We concluded that giving #Ultimatum may actually backfire and the desired result jettisoned

4. The resultant effect of giving #Ultimatum in marriages depends solely on the parties involved #ListenUpNG

5. #InCaseYouMissedIt Read the compiled tweets here:
#ListenUpNG: ULTIMATUM http://wp.me/p6tkXz-Du

6. Today’s session on #ListenUpNG is a sequel to last week’s and it is titled CONNECTION

7. #ListenUpNG This has been deemed a better alternative to issuing ULTIMATUM in relationships?

8. #ListenUpNG CONNECTION is a vital tool to get your spouse, friends, colleagues, siblings, parents and kids to do what they are suppose to do without rancour

9. #ListenUpNG Forging a CONNECTION before making a request will almost certainly ensure a favourable response

10. #ListenUpNG In relationships where CONNECTION have been made, compliance and conforming becomes easy

11. #ListenUpNG Cultivating a good CONNECTION ensures compliance to the other party’s requests is without bitterness and anger

12. #ListenUpNG Human beings are created for connection and association.

13. #ListenUpNG I once read in an article that, ‘Life begins as a connected experience in the womb of our mother.’

14. #ListenUpNG When we’re born and that physical connection is severed, we yearn to connect again.

15. #ListenUpNG How we go about creating that connection and how well we succeed becomes the story of our life.

16. #ListenUpNG People who make healthy & meaningful connections with other people feel happy & fulfilled. They don’t feel lonely/alone

17. #ListenUpNG Research proves that the single most important factor that determines happiness in life is CONNECTEDNESS.

18. #ListenUpNG Consequently, people who lack a real emotional connection with others will grasp at anything in an attempt to fill that void in their life.

19. #ListenUpNG That’s what leads people to sex, drugs, alcohol, hours of mindless TV, falling in love over and over again with new people

20. #ListenUpNG…or an obsessive commitment to money, success, work, or a hobby. These trappings offer a MOMENTARY filling.

21. #ListenUpNG The cause of the emptiness your spouse(people in general) seeks to fill is a lack of a meaningful CONNECTION in their life.”


23. #ListenUpNG Merrian-Webster Online Dictionary defines it as something that joins or connects two or more things…

24. #ListenUpNG. ..the act of connecting two or more things or the state of being connected…

25. #ListenUpNG. ..a situation in which two or more things have the same cause, origin, goal, etc.

26. #ListenUpNG Dictionary.com relates it to a slang meaning “get in touch with” is attested by 1926, from telephone connections.

27. #ListenUpNG Meaning “awaken meaningful emotions, establish rapport” is from 1942. Related: Connected; connecting; connectedness.

28. #ListenUpNG In this session, I will be emphasising on some key words and phrases

29. #ListenUpNG When we think CONNECTION in RELATIONSHIPS, we should be thinking…’, establishing rapport’, ‘same cause’…

30. #ListenUpNG …’same origin & goals’, ‘get in touch with’, ‘awaken meaningful emotions’, ‘creating a bond’

31. #ListenUpNG For instance in a marriage relationship, being in the centre of your spouse’s passion can be it!

32. #ListenUpNG For a parents, getting involved and excited with your child’s hobbis, desires, dreams can be it!

33. #ListenUpNG The list are inexhaustive. You may need the help of a mentor or Relationship Coach if need be

34. #ListenUpNG A Relationship Coach is a trained therapist who help YOU bring clarity into your situation and walk you through it

35. #ListenUpNG No matter the kind of relationship you are in, you’ve got to learn how to relate and connect! It’s a learned art. You can work at it!

36. #ListenUpNG A friend once said, the bane of our present day society isn’t that we aren’t communicating in Relationships…

37. #ListenUpNG …rather, we aren’t communicating the RIGHT THINGS IN THE RIGHT WAY AND AT THE RIGHT TIME! (Paraphrase mine)

38. #ListenUpNG When you create that connection with your spouse(or the person in question), two crucial things are likely to happen

39. #ListenUpNG (a) You truncate your spouse’s desire for their self sabotaging behavior. You uproot the destructive tendency

40. #ListenUpNG You deprive it of its potency. You starve it of its nutrients. They won’t need it anymore. There’s no more hole to fill. YOU filled it!

41. #ListenUpNG (b) You offer your spouse a permanent filling for a hole that’s been insatiable probably since their childhood.

42. #ListenUpNG In essence, to get your spouse(or any other POI) to stop their destructive behavior? You create a connection with them.

43. #ListenUpNG It’s very likely that YOU have no clue how to deeply CONNECT with your spouse or your person of intetest (POI)

44. #ListenUpNG This may be because disconnected people tend to marry disconnected people. Like begets like.

45. #ListenUpNG Learning how to relate and connect is a must in any relationship. This can’t be over emphasised!

46. #ListenUpNG Shout out to @Dabiraipoola who has taken up the challenge to teach how to communicate effectively

47. Check out her tweets from #ListenUpNG Wk11: CONFUSED TONGUES http://wp.me/p6tkXz-CW #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect @Dabiraipoola CONNECTS! Lol!

48. #ListenUpNG Lets get this right, I’m not saying that your spouse’s inappropriate behavior is your fault. But it is your RESPONSIBILITY.

49. #ListenUpNG It’s your RESPONSIBILITY to give it your best shot! It is, because you choose to be the bigger person

50. #ListenUpNG It is your RESPONSIBILITY because you desire and will love to foster a healthy relationship.

51. #ListenUpNG It means, you have a choice. You can decide to do something about the state of your Relationship

52. #ListenUpNG You can actually do something about it. You can impact your spouse’s choices. You can choose to live at CAUSE & not at EFFECT

53. #ListenUpNG To do this, you’ll need to learn to forge a real connection with your spouse

54. #ListenUpNG Funny enough, you may also need to learn to do that WITHOUT your spouse’s cooperation. Lol!

55. #ListenUpNG Till I flood your TL next week fridays, decide to CHOOSE RESPONSIBLY and CONNECT!

56. #ListenUpNG The power of choice is yours but what you choose to do can impact on the lives of generations yet unborn

57. #ListenUpNG Do have a fantastic weekend and a wonderful and fulfilling new month!

58. #ListenUpNG Kudos to all my mentors and mentees. Your articles, posts and #RealLife experiences are inspirational. In the multitude of counsel, there is safety

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.