This is the last session in the FEBRUARY EDITION and it was so impactful. You need to #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect on the compiled tweets below to get the most out of it! Do read on.
Welcome to this week’s edition of Listen Up. I believe it will be an interesting and engaging 1 hour session #ListenUp
1. A special appreciation to @Kemi_Odutayo for this platform. I trust God that marriages will be healed and delivered. #ListenUp
2. The focus of our discussion is centered on the use of password among spouses phones/gadgets #ListenUp
3. Password is a secret word or phrase that must be used to gain admission to a place or open an electronic gadget #ListenUp
4. Passwording has become a modern day, widely accepted trend amongst this generation of very techy people. #ListenUp
5. It is used majorly to secure ones information on phones and other gadgets as theft is now so rife #ListenUp
6. Unfortunately, this trend has eaten into marriages as well and it is now a source of great concern. #ListenUp
7. Source of concern in the sense that couples password their gadgets & will not disclose the code to their spouse #ListenUp
8. I was privileged to witness an interesting drama by a couple some time ago #ListenUp
9. The woman wanted to use his phone but discovered he had changed his password without her knowledge #ListenUp
10.I have also seen how pass-wording phones and electronic gadgets literarily turned the partner into an FBI agent #ListenUp
11.Let us examine the reasons, effect and best way to handle pass wording phones/gadgets between couples.#ListenUp
12.SECRECY: one major reason a husband/wife will password phones/gadgets is because they have secrets. #ListenUp
13.Secrets can be extra marital affairs, financial misappropriation, a child somewhere, the list is endless. #ListenUp
14.This is why it is always advised to share your past with your spouse, because they usually come back to haunt. #ListenUp
15.Because Secrecy encourages lies & you will always need to lie to maintain the “integrity” of the previous lie #ListenUp
16.So The haunted partner will do all that it takes, including pass-wording all gadgets to protect their secret.#ListenUp
17.FEAR OF CRITICISM is another reason.This is usually done to cover up flaws & weaknesses. #ListenUp
18.Especially when they are married to impatient partners that have the tendency to readily pounce on their failures”.#ListenUp
19.I have had to counsel a lady who was scared of revealing to the husband that she has been getting queries in the office.#ListenUp
20.Her reason was that if the husband knows, it will only reinforce his initial belief that she is not good enough.#ListenUp
21.Some spouses also password & keep them secret when they work or handle sensitive jobs like those in security #ListenUp
22.Since Marriage is meant to make two separate people of opposite sex to become one, one in perspective and purpose. #ListenUp
23.Upbringing & Exposure is another reason couples password & don’t disclose to their partners. #ListenUp
24.This is common amongst men with “african mindset” that believes that a woman is not entitled to all info #ListenUp
25.The result is that the person grows up and doesn’t see anything wrong in pass-wording his/her phones /gadgets. #ListenUp
26.After all his own parents, especially daddy also censored certain information from the mummy. #ListenUp
27.Indulging in an act you cannot confidently or freely discuss with your spouse increases the chances of keeping secrets.#ListenUp
28.The flip side is the man or woman who grows up in an “oyinbo” like environment and feels that his/her life is private.#ListenUp
29.It is a known fact that what you consistently do for twenty one days has a way of forming your habit. #ListenUp
30.LACK OF TRUST is one of the major reasons spouses would password their phones/devices.#ListenUp
31.This generally happens if an incident had previously occurred that shattered the initial trust. #ListenUp
32.Rebuilding that trust could be difficult, it will take a while and effort to regain the trust after such incidents.#ListenUp
33.Some of the factors that can result in loss of trust are; financial mismanagement, infidelity,lies & bad association #ListenUp
34.Ignorance & Naivety. This happens when partners acts naive and ignorantly give away sensitive info. #ListenUp
35.The display of ignorance by one party has a way of embarrassing the other party. #ListenUp
36.And in the bid to avoid further embarrassments, he/she chooses to hide some information from the partner.#ListenUp
37.INSECURITY. This is somewhat related to trust. A spouse that feels insecure will naturally want to guard his emotions #ListenUp
38.The insecured person believes that giving access to such information reduces his or her importance in the home.#ListenUp
39.This usually happens when one of the parties suffers from low self-esteem. #ListenUp
40.Remember, low self-image has to do with a thinking disorder. #ListenUp
41.Low self-image involves being unnecessarily apprehensive or fearful about what is not.#ListenUp
42.What Effect will all these have on the partner at the receiving end and the home generally? #ListenUp
43.The partner will always feel a sense of insecurity because they will feel locked out of your life #ListenUp
44.There will undoubtly be tension in the home #ListenUp
45.It will create an atmosphere of distrust and unahappiness because of the feeling that you are hiding something #ListenUp
46.The partner will feel unloved and feel alianated from you #ListenUp
47.It promotes emotional insecurity #ListenUp
48.Eventually, it breeds gap between spouses which if not well handled, can result in break up of the home #ListenUp
49.Look at all the stated effects…. none is good or healthy for your home. #ListenUp
50.If you love your spouse and your home, you should then do the needful in keeping it safe and happy. #ListenUp
51.The following advise to those who love to password and keep it secret from their spouse will help. #ListenUp
52.Passwording in itself is not bad, but you need to carry your spouse along since you are now one #ListenUp
53.What God has joined together, let nothing put assunder, including phones/gadgets & passwords #ListenUp
54.So you must learn to see yourself &  your spouse as one. What affects you, affects her/him #ListenUp
55.Learn to place your spouse as priority. Phones/Gadgets or information cannot be more important than her/him #ListenUp
56.Learn to trust your spouse, even if he/she has betrayed/embarrassed you in the past. We are all work in progress #ListenUp
57.Know for a fact that the more information your spouse has about you the more understanding he or she will have. #ListenUp
58.This will help your spouse have a good understanding of who you are and what you can/can’t do. #ListenUp
59.When such healthy understanding is in place, it becomes natural and easier for your spouse to trust you. #ListenUp
60.Exchanging login info & passwords also provides accountability & emotional security for both of you #ListenUp
61.The part of the world I came from(Africa), any man who is open to his wife is sometimes considered a weakling.#ListenUp
62.He is seen as being manipulated by his wife. #ListenUp
63.If you are in the category of people like this, you have to deliberately deal with it. #ListenUp
64.You should learn to be #secure. #ListenUp
65. You might have suffered or still suffering from insecurity, rest in the fact that God loves you #ListenUp
66. The awesome truth is your spouse loves you too! Learn to receive & give love & trust #ListenUp
67. You must be willing to let go of your old ways of living and face the reality that you are married.#ListenUp
68. Believe in yourself and believe in God that created you. You are not useless or valueless! #ListenUp
69.Pray about your feelings of insecurity and past hurts as well. God heals all wounds! .#ListenUp
70. Believe in yourself and in your spouse that he/she has your interest at heart. #ListenUp
71. Have this undaunted confidence in yourself that you can be what you desire to be in life. #ListenUp
72. Be flexible. Find a place in your heart to accommodate your spouse’s contributions & weaknesses. #ListenUp
73. If you are the one that betrayed your spouse in the past, apologise sincerely #ListenUp
74. Learn to keep secrets between you & your spouse. Trust is earned. Earn that trust. Be discreet. #ListenUp
75. If you are in a position where your spouse passwords & doesnt let you in, don’t despair #ListenUp
76. Dont now password your own phones or gadgets as a retaliatory move. #ListenUp
77a. Remember, two wrongs cannot make things right. #ListenUp
77b. Pray, forgive and love all the same. Your marriage will succeed! #ListenUp
78a. Thank you once again to @Kemi_Odutayo & everyone that listened up. God bless #ListenUp
78b. Questions or counselling requests can be channeled through @kemi_odutayo
Thank you ALL! #ListenUp
This brings us to the end of FEBRUARY EDITION. In case you would prefer the Storify version (with tweets and images) of #ListenUp Wk9 click here:
Watch out for the MARCH EDITION where we will be examining the issue of ABUSE. Don’t miss this!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.