##ListenUpNG Wk4: LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGES by Stephen Akintayo

Hello friends! It was yet another impactful session on #ListenUpNG Wk3. See below for the compiled tweets.

Thank you Mrs Kemi for this priviledge to share few thoughts on Long Distance Marriages.Hope to impact&not impress. @kemi_odutayo

‪#‎Did‬ this write up after prayers between 12:30am-2:15am because I attach great importance to it.‪#‎longdistancemarriages‬

#1 Let me start by saying the rate at which marriages fail is at an alarming rate.

#2 particularly amongst great spiritual leaders that you expect to be role models.

#3 success in marriage does not respect titles but is often taken for granted amongst men&women of high calling.

#‎4 Success‬ in marriage is not a function of spirituality alone and that’s why some non believers have sweet marriages

‪#‎5 Successful‬ Marriage is anchored on 3things; 1) Good Knowledge 2) Application of Knowledge 3)Prayers.

#6 All these 3forces are functions of one thing:Conscious decision to have a successful Marriage.

#7 Looking at the topic:Long Distance Marriages &,It will lead me to the begging of Marriage. Genesis 2:20-25.

#8 Specifically we see that Marriage was concieve by God to provide a Help meet.With instruction for the two to become one

#9 Hence Distance in marriage has defeated the purpose of marriage.

#10 Let’s look at issues that lead to Distant     Marriage;Separation,Career,Education, Ministry etc

#11 Many of this factors are controlable factors and can be worked on except if priority is not placed on the importance of marriage.

#12 What are the challenges attached to Distant Marriage?@lanreolusola @feladurotoye @iambankole @LekeAlderQT #longdistancemarriages

#13 First,some statistics showed that marriage is 80% Communication,8% Sex and remaining 12% goes for other factors.

#14 Number1 Distance in Marriage breaks cummunications which is said to comprise 80% of marriage. #longdistancemarriages

#15 if 80% is gone in marriage, what is left?
@praisefowowe @stephenakintayo @IAmSteveHarris @JimiTewe 

#16 Number2 Emotional Challenges.
Women are emotional&affection being.Moved by words&touch.

‪#‎17 When‬ these are missing,a woman is distabilized in marriage.Men on the other hand are moved by Sight.

#‎18 If‬ the wife is not there to provide pleasant sight,other strange woman fills that void.

#19 Number3 Sex Challenge. As a rule when couples are fighting and come to me for counseling. #longdistancemarriages

#20 One of the first question I ask is when last did you have sex.Married couple that have sex regularly have less misunderstanding.

#21 When the marriage is Distance,Sex becomes once in a while and it creates lots of friction. #longdistancemarriages

#‎22 Number‬ 4 and last Challenge Priesthood Challenge. The first purpose of a Man in marriage is to be a Priest.

#‎23 God‬ expects Men to play priestly role which is to provide Spiritual&Mental guidance for the wife.

‪#‎24 Genesis‬ chapter 3 shows how the devil tempt Eve but one fundamental issue was,where was Adam? 

‪#‎25 When‬ the devil tempted Eve, if not for the distance between Adam and Eve,she wouldn’t have fallen.

#26 Adam would have been firm as Men are rational beings while Women are Emotional beings. #longdistancemarriages

#27 Good News is that there is a solution to every problem. What is the way out of Distance marriages? #longdistancemarriages

#28 Solution1 shorten the distance. I have a friend that is based in UK but works in Nigeria.He will sometimes just fly to London&be back a week after

#29 Those who value their marriage do all that to short the distance.No matter the factor keeping you apart,close the distance.

#‎30 Solution2‬ Mentally Reconnect. Some couple don’t even have long distance but are mentally far from each other.

#‎31 Sex‬ and Communication begins from the‪#‎MIND‬. Hence begin to think of seeing your spouse 247.

#32 Sow into your wife’s Emotional Bank Account.This comes by complementary words, Gifts and attention.

#33 Sow into your husband’s Ego Account.God knew why he gave woman the instruction to be submissive.

#34 Even if you know what to do, seek his permission consciously.You will never see a happy home without a submissive wife.

#35 Men only enjoy company of a humble wife.and the way you treat your husband or wife determine how others will treat him or her.

#36 Solution4 Leverage on Digital Gadgets to communicate more; skype, long phone calls, whatsapp etc. Be in touch 247

#37 Happy marriage is not wished into being but cultivated & worked into being. Guess work will only ruin the union.

#38 Solution5 Allign your movements & Work schedule. Create days time for outing & vacations.

#39 Here is a lesson for singles. Conclude your location of residency before marriage. Don’t assume.

#40 A couple got divorced few months after wedding because the Husband has always wanted to be in Nigeria

#41 The wife has always wanted to live abroad, all her relatives are there but never discussed it until after wedding.

#42 It’s important to allign your geography of residence and pick a mutually beneficial location.

#43 Even if it means one person losing his/her job.It is worth sacrificing your career for.You can always get a new career but not a new marriage.

#44 Divorce is worst than death and you will always meet your spouse at events particularly when you have kids together

#45 Each sitting is like dying all over again. Whatever it will cost to save your marriage, please do it!

#46 In the end it is worth it as the goal of the enemy is to truncate the destiny of the next generation through failed homes.

Thank you for reading, hope it informs, impacts and transforms you.

Once again, a big thank you to the host Mr Kemi @KemiOdutayo #ListenUpNG #longdistancemarriages

All the speakers of ListenUp Pst Godman Akinlabi @PGeeman @ayodaniels @solaadio @yomitheprof thank you for the impactful writeup.

And to every one who read, retweeted and followed, Thank you! May your home be sweet. God bless you all.

Wow! Such impactful words! Do stay tuned for the next session! #ListenUp…discussing #RealLifeIssues

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.