#ListenUpNG Wk20: INTERTRIBAL MARRIAGE – is it wise?

#ListenUp Wk20 with Ijeoma Ajibola was ‘wow’! For Singles in the house, its a must read! And for those in Intertribal Marriages, it works! So, keep working at it! Your home will be blissful and your children will call you blessed!
#ReadRestRelaxAndReflect on the compiled tweets below! Or click this link for the Storify version(with tweets, images, questions and contributions):  http://t.co/nEfK7ssBPA

Hello Everyone, i’m so glad to be hosted by @kemi_odutayo today on #ListenUp

Intertribal Marriage……Is it wise? #ListenUp
Is tribe really an issue to consider before getting married? #ListenUp

When I met my hubby, I bought into him first, developed feelings, enjoyed his company long before I considered where he came from #ListenUp

To be honest, the issue of tribal difference didn’t occur to me as a major thing until we introduced each other to our families #ListenUp

Each member of our families already had a generalized opinion about Igbos and Yorubas. But this didn’t stop us #ListenUp

Our minds were made up and no one could stop us. Of course it didn’t become a reality without a fight (a good one) #ListenUp

Let me share a bit of what went down. My mum in-law didn’t have any problem with our union but her siblings did #ListenUp

They had formed a single story about Igbos based on their experience with one Igbo individual. Truth is, I didn’t blame them #ListenUp

Inside of me, I was glad it wasn’t my mum in-law who felt that way. As long as she and my hubby were cool with it, no one mattered #ListenUp

On the other hand, my parents didn’t support the idea at all at first, especially my Dad. I didn’t blame him too #ListenUp

I too had witnessed some of his experiences with some Yoruba folks. Not in my wildest dream did I see myself marrying a Yoruba man #ListenUp

“My dear daughter, I don’t want someone to marry another wife on top of you” my Dad said to me. #ListenUp

My Dad loves me so much and he wanted to protect me, however, people do the best they can with what they know. #ListenUp

On my part, I was so sure that I had found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with & no one could convince me otherwise #ListenUp

The opposition I faced from my family made me to double check my decision, my hubby to be and the level of love #ListenUp

In a way, that was a good thing cos I didn’t want anyone to say later, “didn’t we warn you?”. The peace I felt within helped a lot #ListenUp

My hubby assured me that I would not be disappointed marrying him,I believed him and I asked him to meet with my Dad and assure him#ListenUp

All this while, wedding plans had been on, date chosen by us and communicated to d church but we just had to get parental consent #ListenUp

My hubby went to meet with my Dad, honestly I don’t know what he said or how he said it but my Dad had a change of heart that day #ListenUp

In my culture, the 1st daughter(me) has to marry from my village so that she isn’t far away from home #ListenUp

Honestly, I never really understood that, cos what happens if u marry a guy from same village and have to live abroad?Unreasonable #ListenUp

In summary, dis 10yrs of the marriage and he hasn’t done any of the things they were scared of. My hubby & Dad are best of friends #ListenUp

My parents refer to him as their 1st son, my mum in-law is the best anyone can have and life is going well #ListenUp

When you want to marry, tribe should not be the first thing that you consider. It’s not about the tribe, it’s about the PERSON #ListenUp

The personality traits, upbringing and background of the person matters much more than where he/she comes from #ListenUp

Many people are married to people of the same tribe as them and yet have a turbulent marriage #ListenUp

Of course, intertribal marriages have their own unique issues especially when there’s language barrier but u make up ur mind #ListenUp

However, just like any marriage, it requires work. Good marriages don’t just happen, a lot of sacrifices go into it #ListenUp

The first step to a successful marriage is to buy into each other and then together you both conquer all that life throws at u #ListenUp

If deep down within, u still have some concerns about the person’s tribe, I suggest u don’t bother cos it will show up someday #ListenUp

Intertribal marriages are for the strong and pure in heart (if I must say so myself….lol) If you are not ready, don’t try it #ListenUp

Intertribal, Multicultural or whatever type of marriage it is, all require deliberate and calculated steps to succeed and work #ListenUp

People still need to be educated about not generalizing when it come to tribe. Igbos are this…Yorubas are that….blah blah blah #ListenUp

Someone even said to me, “u didn’t just marry a Yoruba guy, u even married an Ijebu man at that” and I’m like,what does that mean? #ListenUp

I still get  crazy comments when people see my name,some go like, ‘Nne u are strong o, so u didn’t see any fine Ibo guy to marry #ListenUp

And I reply them, “I didn’t see o, all the Ibo guys around me were blind but a sharp Yoruba guy came and swept me off my feet…lol#ListenUp

All the Ibo guys around me were not blind, but none of them struck a cord in me like my hubby did cos I knew where I was going #ListenUp

Your path in life should determine who you get married to and not the other way around. I’m glad I didn’t make a mistake #ListenUp

Some people have ended up in marriages they regret just because they were too afraid to fight for what they believed in #ListenUp

Intertribal marriages are good for this nation, cos when we all become interconnected, we will think twice before we go to war #ListenUp

My hubby and I laugh and joke about what will happen if Nigeria is divided. I definitely won’t go to Biafra…..lol #ListenUp

If the children of those advocating for division should marry outside their tribe, they will definitely have a rethink #ListenUp

We are human beings first before tribes. Don’t let tribalism stand in the way of your love. God sees us all as one #ListenUp

Is intertribal marriage wise? Yes it is, as long as there’s mutual love and respect for each other #ListenUp

My time is up, thank to @kemi_odutayo for hosting me and thanks all for following. God bless us all. I will answer questions now #ListenUp

Wow! Awesome session! Obviously, Intertribal Marriage is not for the fainthearted! You need to be fully convinced about your intended because you never know the resistance you might be facing from both families!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.