#ListenUpNG Wk16: WHEN THE WINE GOES FLAT…

Hello friends! The moment we have been waiting for! #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect with the compiled tweets of #ListenUpNG Wk16 by Jimi Tewe, our Special Guest!

I so much appreciate his openness and willingness to share his personal experience and lessons learnt during a challenging period in his home. If truly you desire to have a loving relationship that will stand the test of time with your spouse, this is A MUST READ.

You can also view the tweetcast in storify version here:

http://t.co/mM5W5pX8dm

 I pray that as you reflect on these tweets, the ‘wine’ in your home will not go flat! Happy reading!

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So I have been asked to speak about what to do when the wine runs out in your marriage & handling temptations #ListenUp@kemi_odutayo

Let us start with handling temptations. What exactly is a temptation? I guess it’s different for men and women #ListenUpNG

Temptation is a state of being in which your desire for what is wrong is heightened and that for what is right is low #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

The state of temptation means you want to do wrong & only a string of conscience is keeping you back #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

A few years ago,I was baptized with an avalanche of temptations to explore ‘external connectivity’beyond my marriage #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

It came at a time when it seemed the wine had run out in my marriage #listenupng @kemiodutayo

I say it ‘seemed’ because I have come to find out that the wine in marriage doesn’t ‘run out’. It only settles #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

Just like anything that settles, love (especially the feeling part) must be stirred constantly to keep it fresh #listenupng @kemiodutayo

Let me say this, 99.9% of marriages will face the challenge of familiarity- that state where natural appeal will wane #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

I was at that phase a few years ago and it confused me as it crept up on me #listenupng @kemiodutayo

Incidentally, at that time, I began to get attention (more like I was paying attention) from ‘interesting’ prospects. #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

The biggest mistake I was making was not talking to my wife about the dissatisfaction I was feeling #listenupng @kemiodutayo

Because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, I didn’t discuss it but now I know that it was a mistake #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

https://mobile.twitter.com/JimiTewe

@JimiTewe So you sincerely advice men to talk to their wives in such situations? #ListenUpng

@kemiodutayo yes I do.. And the wives must have the self confidence not to react in the situation but be a help-meet

@JimiTewe hmmm. Well said! So lady, let hubby’s heart safely trust in you. Be confident! He married you! You are his choice! #ListenUpng

Although I had not given expression to these potential relationships, my mind was beginning to go in that direction #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

My wife did try to reach out to me BUT I was in a state where bad wasn’t looking so bad any more #listenupng @kemiodutayo

At this point, she did two things that helped me (1) Pray for me (2) Report me to my Pastor (smiles) #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

We had always agreed who we would escalate issues to if the need ever arose. I am forever grateful to her for this #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

@JimiTewe Wise decision! I always cringe inwardly whenever I come across couples that are accountable to no one! #ListenUpng Singles, wise up!

A man without control is one who will be out of control. If no one can call you to order, you will be a victim of disorder #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Thankfully, my Pastor didn’t condemn me, he corrected me. That also helped a lot #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

The 3 of us agreed certain boundaries I had to keep and I asked God to help me to stay within them #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

The boundaries provided room for me to focus on stirring up my affections for my wife again #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

My wife and I talked about root challenges and made adjustments with regards to them #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I also became open with my wife when I was facing temptations. She would ask me what attracted me & use that on me #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I must confess that sometimes I would not share some temptations but her love for me at the time made me open up #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I also had to open up to some of my friends & discovered they were going through the same challenge as me #Listenupng @kemiodutayo

Sin can only thrive in secrecy and so opening up is key to shutting it up. #ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

My wife and I started a few new things.. Going out more together,rediscovering fun activities etc #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

For several weeks, my emotions didn’t cooperate but after a while it did. Stirring requires consistency! #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Now as I begin to wrap up, let me share something else that has helped me #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

As a Christian, I have found out that the more my fellowship with the Holy Spirit wanes, the more open I am to temptations #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

The easiest thing to do in times of temptations is to run from God. NO! Run to Him. He knows exactly what you should do #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

At that time, I stopped praying & studying God’s word like I should. I was actually battling condemnation. #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

It was only the knowledge of & faith in God’s Righteousness that enabled me overcome condemnation. Condemnation kills #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Sometimes, when the pressure was much, I’d give the Holy Spirit permission to ‘scatter things’! He always did 😀 #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Walking in the Spirit (maintaining communion with Him) is the only way to overcome the desires of the flesh #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Now, let me say this,’ I am still a #learninghusband We will be 10 years in December #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

One thing I am sure of is that I would always pick loving my wife over committing adultery .. BUT… #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I know that I will still face many temptations. My confidence for the future lies in 2 things.. #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

God IN me and my wife BY me are the weapons for victory in this highly sexualized world #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

The danger of adultery is this: it adulterates the quality of the bond you share with your spouse #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Adulterated marriages are not strong enough to raise Godly children & to be examples in society #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Because of what I went through, I am not quick to judge a man who is going through the same things #ListenUp@kemi_odutayo

If you are a man and you are already on the path of adultery even though you don’t want to be, God still LOVES you #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I have friends that we pray together at the height of our weakest points & God’s Grace always strengthens us. Let us Pray @kemiodutayo ListenUpNG

Father, in the Name of Jesus, I stand in faith with anyone who is facing sexual temptations today and failing ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

I pray that your Grace will be fully supplied to them to walk away from Sin & walk back to you #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I pray that you supply the specific wisdom they need in their situation for their deliverance #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

I pray that you heal their marriages. May your Grace strengthen them to stir up love with their spouse ListenUpNG @kemiodutayo

I ask for this and much more for them, in Jesus Name (Amen).. Wives, keep praying for your man.. He needs it #ListenUpng @kemiodutayo

Thanks a lot @kemiodutayo for this opportunity #ListenUpng

@JimiTewe Aaaamen! This is profound! I’m speechless! ‘Good’ speechless! Thank you so much for speaking/tweeting from the heart! #ListenUpng

@JimiTewe Warm regards to your dear & darling wife! She is a wise woman. May the wine in your marriage be continuously stirred up! Love ya!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.