Yay! It’s time 2#ListenUp! Join me as I welcome @CessoKay , a woman of #Faith #Experience and #Depth. Welcome, ma’am! Txs @kemi_odutayo for the invite on #ListenUp and to talk on a topic I have devoted my life. Seeing reduction in this inhuman act, justice.. Once again, thanks. Good evening to all. I am warmly addressed as Dr. Princess. @kemi_odutayo has shared my background.  #ListenUp We shall be having a Twitter discussion on What’s the Big DEAL about Rape & Sexual Abuse? A huge lot. If it can quantified so. #ListenUp 1. The impact of sexual violence on the individual victim, family, loved ones, communities and nation at large is enormous. #ListenUp 2. Everyone person in society  is vital in reducing rape & sexual abuse to barest minimum. There’s no single sector responsible. #ListenUp 3. As a developing nation, we will continue to crawl until we rise up and take this seriously.  In past 3 years, the world over.. #ListenUp 4. So sorry, network is interesting today. #ListenUp… 5. Past 3yrs the world over, the hidden things are being exposed. High & mighty individuals & institutions are answering … #ListenUp 6. …to the world of secret crimes decades past. Australian Royal Commission, BBC Jerry Saville, the Vatican, Boys Scout.. #ListenUp 7. ..Anglican Church, Jewish Community home & abroad, UK scandals, Ireland, schools, police community, parents as a couple or… #ListenUp 8. …or as an individual. The list is unending. Every faucet of life is affected. The experience of childhood has become extinct. #ListenUp 9. One big question I want to throw at u is,What do I contribute to rape and sexual abuse? Definite answer “Me, no way! Nothing.. #ListenUp 10. However, everyone has contributed to existing carnage. The plague of sexual violence has excavated becos of a no. of reasons. #ListenUp @solazed Precisely my point Uncle Sola. Who makes up society? You and I. #ListenUp 11.Society decides roles of sexes, behavioural expectations, attitudes & more. Sexual discussions is a sacred topic 4 both sexes.#ListenUp 12.Meanwhile that is only scratching the surface. Major hindrance has been a huge lack of understanding of consequences of rape #ListenUp 13. It’s great to see a handful of survivors step out 2 share their experiences. Compared to those affected, the no. Is gigantic. #ListenUp 14. What we are seeing is the downfall of humanity. Where humans derive pleasure in harming & humiliating another without remorse. #ListenUp 15. Back to the old ways – Charity begins at home. Today’s family from the past 3 decades has seen some modern reforms …#ListenUp 16. …reforms that has partly contributed to the badly shaped home front. We are raising children we do know & pretend we do. #ListenUp 17. The boys & men raping, making pornography, etc. ‘to pro’ as it was called in my youthful days in the 80s. It’s has been been. #ListenUp 18. In my youthful days,  gang raped was real. The parents of the boys would not for ever believe their sons could indulge… #listenUp 19. … in such cruel behaviour. Now, attention is drawn to it… Yet, society still plays ignorant. The affected women, girls … #ListenUp 20. …in such unholy behaviour. Most families are traumatized when it’s discovered that their sons are in gang rape. Imagine …#ListenUp 21.. imagine if discovering yr son is involved in gang rape & u are that traumatized, what do u think the victim is going through? #ListenUp 22. When we begin to learn to emphasize once again, society will begin to redirect it’s communities to produce human outcomes. #ListenUp 23. Outcomes like being my brothers keeper.
When I was growing up, if u showed up at the stall of woman selling sweets with…#ListenUp 24… A high denomination of currency. She would seize the cash & ask for your parents. Either u get them or not, she will… #ListenUp 25…take it upon her self to draw their attention to the money. The child was raised by the community. With all that effort…
#ListenUp 26. ..Sexual abuse still occurred in all its forms. There are various types such as incest, rape, gang rape, child sexual abuse.. #ListenUp 27. … marital rape, child pornography, exposure to pornography, digital penetration, male sexual violence & more. The world is..#ListenUp #ListenUp @CessoKay A shame what our society has become. But fro yr experience, wot is the rationale of some1 that abuses a child sexually? #ListenUp @CessoKay In all these cases esp incest, is it that the perpetrators take temporary leave of their senses? @solazed @Okornore @kemi_odutayo @solazed @Okornore  #ListenUp In no case is anyone without their senses. These are highly intellectuals in plotting their game @CessoKay @solazed @Okornore Hmmm. Even a father sleeping wit is daughters? @yinkanubi @wendypendy2000 @praisefowowe @BridgetElesin #ListenUp @kemi_odutayo  #ListenUp Reasons of persons (male or female) who abuse children sexually varies. Some were sexually abused …#ListenUp @kemi_odutayo  #ListenUp ..as children, some believe they are doing just fine, some recognize it’s wrong – sexual inappropriate  behaviour.. @kemi_odutayo  #ListenUp … for some it’s to feel power and control, for some it’s just opportunity, for some unusual stress, some don’t… @kemi_odutayo  #ListenUp ..some don’t realize the damage they are causing 2 destiny of another human being. It’s no excuse their behaviour. #ListenUp In the course of years of work & research. We observed a certain pattern in the perpetrators. The abusers have been sexually abusing mostly members as far back in their lives. Their relatives who lived with them or they lived with #ListenUp A  behaviour pattern has been developed over time. Behavioural psychology maintains a number of theories. #ListenUp One states repetition alone brings mastery…#ListenUp
28. The world is full of cruelty &  it’s getting worse. Technology has brought new dynamics – access 2 Internet (global village) #ListenUp 29. A child that has been sexually abuse is very prone to be sexually abused continuously and at different phases of life.  #ListenUp 30. I try to relate it to a US tuna saying – when. Witches have marked a person, wherever he or she goes – the witches there …#ListenUp 31…welcome fresh meat. This trend is found mostly in children who were sexually abused. Research studies have found these trend. #ListenUp 32. They most times don’t live to full potential. Even when they do have a PhD. For a developing nation, that is disastrous. #ListenUp 33. It’s also a recipe for the continuation of sexual violence. Becos some turn out to be sexual abusers, some become miscreants. #ListenUp @CessoKay So what is the way out for them? To ensure that history won’t continue to repeat itself in their lives? #ListenUp @kemi_odutayo #ListenUp Way out is for the a holistic package. The health sector needs to be upgraded to include mental health …#ListenUp @kemi_odutayo  assessment and treatments, give opportunity for those with sexual behavioural disorders, addictions seek treatment. Give attention @kemi_odutayo  …to those who have been abused to go through counseling and also treatments. Educate society and develop capacity of.. @kemi_odutayo  …of First responders to understand the dynamics of sexual abuse… if a person recognizes the problem buffeting them &… @kemi_odutayo  …cry for help with society assuring them of help. Why not? I worked with an addicted rapist two years ago. He is doing fine @kemi_odutayo  because he came to that crossroad…#ListenUp

34. There quite a number of movies now on sexual violence. Anyone seem ‘Addicted’ It’s rated 18. Perfect family right. Raped by..#ListenUp 35. ..raped by 3 boys at 10. That memory was repressed for decades. It was came crawling back. Can she be blamed for rape at 10? #ListenUp 36. The damage to individual lives and society is too grievous for society to turn a blind eye. Look at our society. We have …#ListenUp 37. ..Who need young blood to prove to themselves they have sexual prowess. Sex is for a penny. Sexual disorders prevail now…#ListenUp 38. We have a lot sexual disorders in our society but there are few outlets that have capacity to deal with these challenges…..#ListenUp 39. We cannot really crown this topic in one straight Twitterthon. I want to say txs 2 #ListenUp for giving me the space to be myself. “@kemi_odutayo: @CessoKay Ma’am, this has really been so enlightening especially for me too. It’s really an honour having you.#ListenUp” Txs 42. #ListenUp Thanks for your patience peeps. To round up – U& I are vital 2 addressing rape in our society. Be good bystanders, speak out. @kemi_odutayo  #ListenUp Thanks. I pray this platform contributes largely to keeping society on track. Thanks. 43. If you know you have sexual inappropriate behaviour or desires, pls inbox me for an appointment. It can be  stopped. Thanks #ListenUp Hmmm. Another thought provoking session. Till next week, when we will be rounding up on the last session in the MARCH EDITION, stay blessed!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.