Let him be!

Hello everyone!  I think it is very necessary to post the concluding part of ‘Accepting your spouse for who he or she is!’  asap. Wouldnt want to be the cause of strife between hubby and wifey! Lol! Hope my last post about what you need to accept in your wife has been quite helpful? It should! I am a woman and i know these things do happen *winking mischievously*
And now to the Ladies! Remember I mentioned that there are loads and loads of things we need to accept about our spouses. Helloooo! What did you say? You are not married yet? Great! No problem. You still need to read this. In fact, this is the best time to read this. Take it as part of your preparation towards matrimony. Few months or years into your marriage, you will be glad you did.
We need to accept that hubby don’t like too much details. He’s tired and just wanted to know how your day was. We need to be more ‘discerning’ to know when to give it in briefs and when to go into details. Or else, he won’t bother to ask, ‘Darling, how was your day?’ ever again.Accept he will love footballs and some other manly games. This is not the time to pout and feel jealous of a tv set. It’s not worth it! Accept it! Factor it in! Flow with it! Better still learn to love football. Strive to be in the centre of his passion. You will be amaze as football will end up being a good conversation starter between you!
Accept the fact that he might want/need to be alone when he’s stressed. You want to talk. You believe a problem shared is a problem solved. Not so with men. They need to process things first. To them, its a matter of ‘first within then without’. He might decide to read the papers, play games or watch movies. Don’t be offended. It’s just his way of distracting himself. We often want to talk about the ‘issue’ while they want to think and probably talk later. So, don’t let this bother you too much. Give him his space and you will be surprised he will be the one to bring up the topic again. Just be there for him!
Accept he will love food more than you. He has been so wired because of his physique. He burns calorie faster than you do. To get his attention deal with his hunger. No wonder they often say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This may not be so with all men but it is with 95% of them.
Accept that he has an ego! Of course he will! He is the man. Forget the fact that you are age mates. You might even be older than him. But he is the man. He has been so wired to be an achiever out there. Learn to massage his ego. Learn to speak and treat him like a king and watch those king benefits increase!  Make him feel like an hero and he will treat you well.
Your spouse will desire for sex more often. It’s a psychological need! Accept it. Manage it. Prepare for it. You need to realise you can cause more problem in your home by rejecting his sexual overture. He will take the rejection personal. Don’t open him up to temptation outside. Accept and satisfy his sexuality. Have you ever seen a man who has had his fill of pounded yam at home lusting for rice at a party? It’s almost impossible. An oddity! 
Accept his temperament! Don’t try to change him or fit him into a mould. Stop the unnecessary comparison with your friends’ spouses! Enjoy your differences. Learn to complement him. Complement his weaknesses with your strength and the same goes for him too. Enjoy the strengths and accept the weaknesses! 
Finally, accept the physical appearance of your spouse. Especially as regards changes that comes with time e.g a guy growing bald and developing a thick waistline. Or changes as a result of pregnancy in women. Pregnancy deposits fat and breast feeding causes sagging of breasts. Accept and prepare for it. However, in as much as we need to accept ourselves, we also need to work on our appearances so as to remain appealing and attracted to each other. Maintain your good looks.You both need to work out to keep in shape.
In my opinion, there is nothing like irreconcilable differences.  We only have spouses who refuse to bend an inch and accept each other for who they are! That’s why when they asked Jesus about the bill of divorce Moses allowed to be given to women, He said Moses did this because of the hardness of their hearts! That in the beginning, it was not so.
Till my next post…keep working on that relationship and you will reap the benefits! Love ya! Please drop a comment or give me a shout out on my twitter handle @kemi_odutayo stating which of these blog posts have blessed you.

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.