Let her be!

Yea! I am back! *really excited* We are still on our topic ‘accepting your spouse the way she or he is’. Please get me right. This is not to say that we shouldn’t work on ourselves! It’s just an advice for us to give each other the freedom to be his or herself! Freedom to learn and grow!
Today, we are going to be talking about the things you need to accept in your wife. Those things that are peculiar to her as a woman and which you as the husband will do yourself a world of good to accept. Those things you need to take in your strides.  Those things that you have noticed but you still need to…LET HER BE!
First amongst this is to accept her feminism. She is a woman!  She is different from you! She can’t reason or think the way you do! She is Unique! So accept this and move on! She loves to talk, to gist, to chat! And often times she gets carried away in her excitement. She talks in details about issues and events. She uses words to communicate emotions. This is so unlike a man. You just can’t grasp why she talks so much! You use words to communicate facts. Men are typical ‘headliners’. You want it in briefs. You want a summary. Times without number, you have regretted asking her, ‘how was your day, darling?’ Because you just opened floodgates you would otherwise have kept locked! Her verbal floodgates! Lol! She takes this as an opportunity to ‘download’ the event of her day to the tiniest detail. My advice? Let her be! Prepare for it! Remember,  if you refuse to allow her, you are only communicating  REJECTION which will not brood well for your relationship. 
Accept the fact that she will query your love for her frequently.  That’s the way she’s ‘wired’. All she needs is reassurance!  She wants to know that despite everything going on, despite arguments between the two of you, you still love her. She needs reassurance. What baffles you is that she won’t come right out and say so. She uses statement like, ‘ I know you don’t love me anymore.’ With tears and sniffing for effect. Lol! Remember,  women use words to communicate emotions and not fact. That’s just how she’s feeling at the moment. So…let her be and hit the reassurance button!
Accept the fact that she might not be overly excited and assertive about sex. Don’t interpret this to mean she doesn’t want ir find you attractive and desirable. She’s not virtually stimulated like you. Your nakedness might not turn her on. She is ready and eager for sex if she feels loved and love you back! For you, this is not so.That’s why a man can sleep with a woman he doesn’t love. As my mentor often says, you can’t forget, ignore  her in the course of the day then turn up in the night demanding for sex! That’s when you get the typical nursery rhyme, ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes…’ She tells you she is tired and aching all over! Lol! But you know what? She can be encouraged. In the course of the day, make sure you make enough ’emotional deposits’ in form of phone calls (whispering sweet nothings in her ears) coupled with loving text messages. I can assure you that when time (night) comes for you to make withdrawal, your ‘cheque’ cannot bounce.
You also need to accept that she will need longer time than you to dress up before an outing! Hmmm. Na so o! Don’t work yourself up over this! Let her be! Factor this into your timing. Let her use the bathroom before you and lovingly hurry her along. ‘Lovingly’ being the operative word. That’s if you want to enjoy the outing.  
Accept the fact that she will have more shoes, clothes and other accessories than you. Women are creatures of beauty. That’s how we have been wired. Her ‘things’ will probably take up more than three quarters of your wardrobe! No qualms!  Factor it in! The amazing part is her being agitated and telling you, ‘Darling, I don’t have anything to wear! ‘ while you guys are getting ready for an outing! Amazing, isn’t it? Yea, yea! It can be frustrating. But…let her be!Hello guys! Comprehend? Not to worry. Lol! It might take time but you will get the hang of it.
There are loads and loads of things we women have to accept about you too. Stay tuned and stay glued for my next post about what the wife needs to know and accept about her husband.
Till my next post…life is easy, take it as such!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.