Ladies! Let’s fix it!

Hi everyone! How was the celebration? Hmmm. Valentine has come and gone! I hope the loving gestures displayed to loved ones on that day haven’t gone with the wind as well? Lol!

To most people, the valentine season serves as an opportunity to mend the rift in most relationship by the giving of gifts to say, ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I appreciate you’, ‘I am sorry’, ‘Give me a second chance’ etc. However, the display of loving gestures to loved ones shouldn’t be a once in a year affair! It should be a constant and deliberate act of making ‘deposit’ into their ’emotional bank account’ so that when and if we need to make a withdrawal, our ‘cheque’ will not ‘bounce’! Lol! So let’s continue in the Val spirit!

Enough said on the Val Day. I promised to post the concluding part of ‘WHY MEN CHEAT'( This is it! Ladies, we are looking at this topic, not to absolve men of the blame of cheating or give excuse for their infidelity! But so we can understand, assimilate, ponder and then take action to fix whichever of the reasons that apply to us. We need to enjoy and not endure (in bitterness and hurt) our matrimonial home! Here we go to the 4th reason ‘why men cheat’.

Reason 4:
Married men have been known to have gone in to their house maids, secretaries etc. I think some men are just plain demonic or possessed as their actions in this area defy logic. Some sleep with their house maids, step daughters, sisters-in-law etc. Some even commit incest; by sleeping with their daughters!  In such situations, only spiritual discernment can help. As a single lady, its better never to have met such men. If unfortunately, you are married to one, seek spiritual advice ASAP.

Reason 5 :
This is the last reason why men cheat and if you ask me, the one we really need to pay attention to! Ladies, if as a married woman you are not in the centre of your husband’s passion, you stand a very high risk of losing him to someone who is! Most men, especially church people can be badly exposed here.

Let’s check out this scenario. Taju owns & runs a fast growing company called Taj Holdings. Tanya, his wife doesn’t need to work as they are very comfortable financially. Tanya’s passion is now going on holidays, buying shoes and jewellery. But Taju’s passion is all about growing his company.

NB : Ladies, often times, a man’s main passion is his work! He pours himself into his work to get fulfilment, a sense of purpose and to provide for you.

Taju sees clearly that Tanya’s passion is to spend the money. He has no problem with that cos there’s excess money flying around. Now, the problem is that Taju has a female PA who knows 100% of anything you care to know about Taj Holdings while Tanya only knows about the chequebook.

Taju works 16 hours a day with the PA while Tanya is busy driving around with her prodigal friends in the family Range Rover. Though Taju is a decent guy and was happily married to Tanya, Tanya is not located in the centre of Taju’s passion which is ‘growing Taj Holdings’.

The PA called Genevieve works very hard for 16 hours a day as well, away from her family. One day Genevieve comes crying to work cos the school fees for her kids are short. Taju makes the difference cos he doesn’t want her distracted at work. Next, she says her husband is uncaring and Taju turns counsellor and comforts her. Gradually a bond grows as they watch each other’s back and confide in each other as per issues at home.

Genevieve works harder to repay Taju’s financial assistance, his confidence in her and his affirmation of her relevance inn his company. While Tanya is home booking the holidays. Over a period of 5 years, SoulTies are formed. A pact of secrecy and closeness is developed and Genevieve becomes the most powerful person in that organisation. This opens the door for deeper intimacy between Taju and Genevieve which never started as such.

Many CEO’s are known to have had affairs…with their PAs cos they spend far too much time together running the company. Same goes for Oga and the housemaid while madam (the career woman) is often away. Ladies, if any woman spends more time than you do in the centre of your husband’s passion, you are at risk of losing him Big Time!

I therefore appreciate women that go all the way to develop an interest in the area of their hubby’s passion. It Is a sacrifice! You need to be involved! Take for instance a hubby that loves football, it would do you a world of good to know all the clubs; Arsenal, Man U, Chelsea and what have you. Not only this, you will need to be a fan of ‘his club’ too if you don’t want your interest to backfire! Lol!

In conclusion, close, prolonged, intensive and continual contact with female PAs or acquaintances can birth SoulTies capable of drawing the man into sin. This is because affection grows when watered incessantly with attention!

So guys, be on the alert!

And ladies, when we notice our husbands’ attention are straying, this is not a time to pick up unnecessary quarrels which can only drive them further into the ‘strange’ ladies’ arms. Rather, it’s a time to access our marriage and check out which of these reasons we need to address ASAP!

So we now have our 5 reasons why men cheat : Sexual appetite, emotional entanglement, food, demonic possession and your absence from or your non involvement in his area of passion. Note this, today’s post is to help us as married ladies to be street wise and spiritually discerning. We need all the help we can get to turn our homes into a haven of love and our men into faithful and loving spouses that we all desire.

Kudos to @solaadio who posted the original tweetcast. Follow him on twitter and check out his site too at for the original tweets. This post has been paraphrased by me to reflect my own thoughts, observations and beliefs and also to aid the ease of reading without the interruptions typical of tweets.

Till my next post…wisdom is profitable to direct, so get WISDOM!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.