Is it a crime to break off a relationship? (2)

Hmmm. Is it really a crime? Is there anything wrong in doing this? We will take a look at these and many more questions in today's blog. How are you doing? Hope your plans for the year are gradually shaping up? If not, don't sweat it, today is another opportunity. Just keep at it!This is sequel to my last blog where the excerpt from my book – SECRET PASSION was posted. I want us to get something clear upfront. Relationship comes in different forms;we have the marriage relationship,the familial relationship, boy/girl or guy/gal relationship etcFor the purpose of today's blog, we are talking more on the guy/gal relationship. I recently read an article from a blog and it got me thinking. I was kind of impressed that a young guy(the writer) could have such an accurate understanding of relationship save for some points I don't quite agree with. The title of the article is 'You have successfully Broken up' and was written by J.J Omojuwa. The first paragraph states and I quote : When is a relationship or courtship successful? The simple answer would be to say when it leads to marriage, but that is not entirely true. A relationship could lead to marriage but what kind of marriage really. Is it one reached on compromise or one that naturally evolved from a successful relationship?'Hmmm. Profound! Won't you say?
We really have to let it sink into our psyche that every single person we meet is for a reason and the relationship can be just for a season. It can also be for a lifetime in case it ends in marriage! But definitely not all guy/gal relationship ends in marriage. J.J couldn't have put it in a clearer term when he says, 'If the purpose of getting into a relationship is to get to know the other person, then two things are possible; the person fits in or does not. The reason why people get hurt by break-ups is because they see the relationship as an end in itself and not a process. There's this mistake about dating having to always lead to marriage. I also believe a time of dating or courting is basically meant to build friendship and get to know each other better. However,I don't quite agree with the writer when he says in his article : 'The essence of courtship is to test drive the man or woman over a period of time. It could be ten years and it could even be as short as three months. It has nothing to do with the duration; it has all to do with your mutual sincerity.' Hmm. Test drive might be a 'slang' in today singles' language but to me it connotes some element of 'wear and tear'. That's why one of the party will definitely feel hurt and cheated because something has definitely been taken away from her/him either tangible(gifts,money etc) or intangible(time,feelings,hopes etc) Those intangible things can never be regain again! And you wonder why some are bitter at the end of a relationship! That 'breaking up successfully' has nothing to do with the duration of the relationship is a myth! You can't expect someone you have been 'leading on' or 'testdriving' for 5-10years to be 'happy' or 'resigned' when you eventually decide the relationship is not working for you! Especially when three months later, she/he sees your Wedding Invitation to another lady/guy!
So what next? How can you break up successfully? My advice? Stay tuned till my next blog. Permit me my little digression here and there. Lol! SECRET PASSION still continues! Till then…live a life that counts!

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About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.