If not ‘Dating’ then what?

Hello friends! How have you been? As we are preparing to enter the fourth month of this year, I pray we receive clarity for the rest of this year in Jesus name!

There has been an ongoing and interesting discussion on my last post, DATING : A TIME WASTING VENTURE OR WHAT?’ You can also check out the tweetcast on my twitter handle @kemi_odutayo. To be part of the discussion, follow me on twitter and put the hashtag #Dating before your response and you are good to go! I was really thrilled about the responses I got from different quarters.

A particular school of thought (@yomitheprof) made us understand that there are no biblical examples of dating and as such would discourage Singles from engaging in such. They went as far as saying its not even in our culture here in Nigeria! Be it Igbo, Hausa or Yoruba! Wow!

Sincerely, I don’t know when and how ‘DATING’ started in Nigeria! But one thing I am sure of is the fact that its being ‘abused’. We now have Singles toying with each others’ emotion, committing fornication and all sorts, all in the name of dating. There has been no sort of rules whatsoever and parties involved tend to make up their own rules as they go.

Some male marriage counsellors on twitter (@solaadio) has actually confirmed that guys almost always enter the Dating Game principally for sex or marriage or both. They said its just a way devised by today’s singles to test run each other in their bid to make a decision as to the choice of a life partner. A lady (@M_Kokkie) said she needs at least 2yrs to do her background check on the guy. I will implore you to listen to @solaadio on soundcloud as he shed more light on this.

As Christians, in as much as ‘Dating’ is not a biblical term, I will like to recommend you have a set of biblical rules if you insist on #Dating. Just as technology, phones, social media etc are not biblical terms, we do use it but we must have a set of rules we live by even in their usage! To me, dating is really about friendship! And I believe friendship should be the basis of all relationship especially marriage. In response to my last post on DATING, a lady sent me a quote and ask if the quote is ok. Here is the quote, ‘ Date around but don’t sleep around’.

Yeah! I absolutely agree! Sleeping around is a NO! NO! But dating around? Here, I will like to say Singles should exercise extreme caution. ‘Dating around’ implies the act of going out with different ladies and guys with the sole aim of having fun! Whereas, I believe DATING should not be taken with any element of levity! It should basically be for those singles that are really ready for marriage.
If you are truly ready for marriage, ‘Dating around’ will be the last thing on your mind. You will be out on A DATE WITH A MISSION! (DAM). A date with a mission is friendship with the opposite sex with the hope of proposing! And for the lady, DAM is (friendship) accepting ‘dates’ from guys you already feel could be the ‘one’!

Note, I am absolutely being realistic here and not religious! God does not change but his methods of dealing with us can! Considering the dynamics of our changing environment and level of sophistication, ‘Dating’ is the in thing for today’s singles.

However, If Christians Singles must engage in ‘Dating’, theirs should be A DATE WITH A MISSION; with biblical principles and rules to guide them. This is the main reason in my last post, I said and I am reiterating, Dating shouldn’t be more than a year! Dating, especially DAM, isn’t rocket science! It doesn’t take you that long with the help of the Holy spirit to decide if he/she is your future spouse! The duration of your courtship now depends on your peculiar situation!
If after a year of the so called ‘Dating’, both of you are yet to reach a commitment, so be it! Let her go! Let him go! If you must date, let it be A DATE WITH A MISSION!

Till my next post titled A DATE WITH A MISSION! (DAM), keep on holding on! Your miracle is just around the corner!

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.