DATING : A time wasting venture or what?

Hi everyone! How are you doing? I guess fine…and I hope things are looking up for you. If you don’t think so I will advice you to change your confession and begin to say, ‘ everyday and in every way I’m getting better and better, smarter and smarter, ….’ Please fill in anything you so desired.

I believe in the power of positive affirmation. As you do this, you will be so shocked as you begin to see what you say. It is said that faith (belief) comes by hearing; not just hearing anything but the words of God! I hereby implore you to turn up your FAITH so high so you won’t hear what DOUBTS have to say.

Hmmm. Enough said! I can go on and on talking about God’s goodness and promises but…I think we should get down to the business of the day. Lol!

Today, I want us to examine what the term ‘dating’ means in today’s context. To most youngsters and matured singles, dating is a term also referred to as ‘going out’. Simply put, a time span where two individuals(male and female) go out on dates (outings) with the sole purpose of getting to know each other better while having a nice time in the process.(Definition mine).

However, a troubling trend has evolved in the ‘act’ of dating. I strongly believe dating is meant for those that are ready to settle down. I mean those that are serious about looking for a life partner. Dating is not suppose to be institutionalised!

I get so aggrieved when I hear couples say they have been dating for three to four years. With no form of commitment whatsoever from either party! With no clear sense of direction! The guy continues to test drive the lady, possibly test driving some other ladies too. All in his bid to make up his mind as to who to pop that all important question to.

The lady in question; hoping against hope that he will eventually pop the question. Meanwhile she continued to be at his beck and call, accompanying him to different functions and family gatherings. Same can apply to a guy too. You are all over her and she kept telling you not to rush her. Remember, no form of commitment yet! And if care is not taken, intimacy developed and is taken to the next level.

It should therefore come as no surprise that when the guy meets another fresh, alluring face, he entertains a change of heart. Thank God he has not committed himself yet! The  lady feels scorned and proclaim she has been jilted. However, the guy has never at any point in time promised her marriage. Maybe he has dropped a hint here or there but nothing definite. Unfortunately, you as a lady has never called him up on it; ‘prompt’ him to declare his ‘agenda’.

Ladies, you need to define that relationship! If you don’t, you will be the worse for it. Dating isn’t suppose to be more than a year (in my own opinion). That’s enough time to decide if you are both serious. Enough time to decide if you want to take the plunge into matrimony. If yes, the guy pop the question. Her acceptance should signal the beginning of your courtship. A period when you start introducing her/him to all and sundry as your fiance/fiancee.

Though there may be some exceptions because of different and peculiar life scenarios but basically this seems to be the order of things. Failure to keep this in mind, leads to abuse of these periods. And riding roughshod over others’ emotion become inevitable.

I would like you to click on these links for further classification. This is a must read! And you just have to listen to this as well. Though very humorous but it makes sense!

This post is dedicated to @Leke_Alder and @solaadio. Do follow them on twitter. Check these links out and you will thank me later. Look out for my next post……

About Kemi Odutayo

‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.