Hi friends! Hope you are doing great? I’m sure you are! And if you are feeling overwhelmed and wondering, ‘Didn’t we just celebrate Jan 1st? Where is the year running to?’ that means you are yet to embark on any of your goals this year! But you know what? 2014 is actually the sum total of how you spend each day! So, please and please, start something NOW! Back to our topic today,’Ever heard of zoning in relationship?’ I can see your brain trying to grasp what this could mean! Lol! This blog is actually the 3rd part (and I hope the final part) of ‘Is it a crime to break off a relationship?’. I just decided to give it a new and more interesting topic.I hope from my last blog you have deduced that, in my opinion, it is definitely not a crime to break off a relationship. But that is not an excuse to lead on, ‘test drive’ or toil with other peoples’ emotion. In every healthy relationship between a guy and a gal, there is a progression that you will be wise to be cognisant of. From friendship to dating to courtship and eventually to marriage if both parties are absolutely convinced they are meant for each other.It is not a crime to break off the relationship at any of these stages BECAUSE a broken relationship is far far better than a broken marriage. Its even worse when children are now involved. Let us disabuse our minds of the fact that to date someone is to get married to the person. One of the reasons the divorce rate is on the increase is when sentiments,self deception and pressure from parents,family and friends become the main reason you marry your partner. If this is so, the way you rush in will definitely be the same way you will rush out. If your relationship failed ie one of the parties want out, so be it. Or how do you think your marriage with the same person will succeed? However, to break up successfully(without any of the parties involved feeling too bad) you have to pay attention to the ‘atmosphere’ of the relationship. This is where the concept of ‘Zoning’ comes into play. In other words ‘zoning’ means ‘defining’ the relationship. Asking questions and doing an assessment of how far you guys have progressed in the relationship. This is crucial and will aid your decision to either break off the relationship or not. As the relationship progresses, from friendship through courtship, the emotional commitment in advertly increases as well. At each level you have to be sure you and the other person are on the same page, in fact in the same paragraph of the same chapter in the same book! If this is not properly defined, the tendency for one of you to be hurt and bitter cannot be overruled. So my friend, zone or define that relationship! Are you just friends? Are we now dating? Even while dating, try and assess if its with the view to a more serious relationship, I mean courtship. Are you now courting? As in, are you in courtship? Has he ever really pop that question-Will you marry me?Never, never, never assume! Don’t live your life based on assumption! While you are thinking you are on the same page, it will be a shock for you to discover later that you are not even ‘reading’ the same book. As a lady, I don’t believe you should allow a guy to ‘test-drive’ or ‘date’ you for years on end without even knowing whether there is a chance of you two getting serious! Refuse to be anyone’s ‘stop-gap’! Refuse to be anybody’s side runs! You are the real deal for someone out there! Wait for him/her!To be continued shortly!
About Kemi Odutayo
‘Kemi Odutayo, a graduate of University of Lagos, Nigeria is a Practitioner of NLP, a blogger, an author, a counselor and a media consultant. She is the Head of Operations, Me4 Communications, a publishing, marketing and communications outfit specializing in publishing books/eBooks, managing and offering training for social media accounts for individuals and organizations. Kemi and her husband of many years, Kayode Odutayo have a beautiful family blessed with three lovely children.