2017 #ListenUpNG Wk14: SAYING SORRY IS NOT A WEAKNESS

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1. Hello everyone! It’s great to be back on board! #ListenUpNG Thanks so much for your prayers, care and concern! I am much better!

2. If you are joining us for the first time, #ListenUpNG is a weekly mentoring event, one of the Me4 Initiatives powered by Me4 Communications @Me4Nigeria

3. On #ListenUpNG, we discuss #RealLifeIssues that we encounter in relationships and proffer mentoring to navigate them

4. Men and women of character and competence in their area of influence are often hosted on #ListenUpNG to tweach on #RealLifeIssues

5. This week, I @KemiOdutayo the host will be tweaching on today’s session, the 1st in the May Edition on #ListenUpNG. #SayingSorryIsNotAWeakness

6. #ListenUpNG I’m all about fostering healthy relationships…I am passionate about YOU and your relationships.

7. #ListenUpNG Recently the social media was agog with the celebration of love of two celebrities. A union made in heaven, they say! A big congratulations to them

8. The ‘chemistry’ between these two was awesome especially in the film, #WeddingParty where they were the leading roles #ListenUpNG

9. #ListenUpNG #LoveInTheAir It got me thinking. Do you know that no matter how awesome a relationship is, the inability to say ‘SORRY’ can be its undoing?

10. #ListenUpNG The inability to admit in word or deed that you are wrong about an issue or a person may cause irrevocable damage to the relationship!

11. #ListenUpNG Have you ever heard the cliché, “Love is never having to say you’re sorry” ? How such a myth gain any acceptance is still a marvel to me

12. #ListenUpNG If you’re close to someone, the likelihood of stepping on each others’ toes is very high. Check out this scenario

13. #ListenUpNG Paul had a misunderstanding with a colleague at work. He was so pissed that he ended up leaving the office in anger.

14. #ListenUpNG He barked at the security guard that took a while before allowing him into his gated compound

15. #ListenUpNG He was quick to let loose his tongue on the ‘unfortunate’ man and threatened to sack him next time he was remiss in his duty

16. #ListenUpNG The poor man was shocked to see his easy going ‘oga’ display such anger. For the life of him, he just couldn’t understand why Oga was so angry

17. #ListenUpNG Needless to say, Paul stormed into his apartment. He shouted at his kids to keep quiet and instructed them to go to their rooms

18. #ListenUpNG His wife was confused. Her tentative welcoming smile disappeared. She decided to allow him cool off for some few minutes before serving him dinner

19. #ListenUpNG The rice was overcooked, according to him. That set him off again! It took his wife shouting back at him to bring him back to his senses

20.#ListenUpNG At that moment, Paul realised how he had allowed the incident at work to ‘poison’ his other relationships.

21. #ListenUpNG He knew he had messed up. Big time. He knew he was in the wrong. But how does he apologise?

22. #ListenUpNG He went back to his food and asked for a class of juice. His wife was fuming by now and he knew it.

23. #ListenUpNG He believed going back to his food and asking for a class of juice is his own way of saying ‘sorry’.

25. #ListenUpNG He called out to his kids and asked if they have done their assignments. They answered in the affirmative with downcast eyes.

26. #ListenUpNG They were unsmiling. He promised to give them additional pocket money to take to school the next day.

27. #ListenUpNG During the night, he cuddled up to his wife, only for her to shake off his hands in anger. He was surprised.

28.#ListenUpNG He wondered what the matter was. She couldn’t still be mad about his shouting at her? Or could she?

29.#ListenUpNG He felt she should know he was sorry about his action.

30. #ListenUpNG She left to sleep in the guest room. He believed she was taking it too far.

31.#ListenUpNG What kind of anger should make a wife deny her hubby of his conjugal right? He wondered.

32. #ListenUpNG He left for office the next morning. His wife was still giving him the cold shoulder.

33. #ListenUpNG As he drive out, his security guard’s response to his greeting was just a nod of his bald head.

34.#ListenUpNG Nevertheless, Paul waved cheerfully to him. He felt the man should have realised he wasn’t his normal self yesterday

35. #ListenUpNG At the office, they found out that Paul was actually the one in the wrong. However, he couldn’t bring himself to apologise.

36. #ListenUpNG Paul went to his colleague’s desk and tried to engage him in a discussion that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

37.#ListenUpNG That was his way of saying ‘sorry’. His colleague looked at him and just decided to let bygone be bygone. They later went for lunch together

38. #ListenUpNG The inability to say ‘sorry’ when you are in the wrong is not gender sensitive. It happens in both men and women

39. #ListenUpNG Sometimes, it could be an ego thing. While at other times, it’s just mere insensitivity to the feelings of the other party

40. #ListenUpNG When you hurt someone, it’s important to say, “I’m sorry.” ESPECIALLY YOUR SPOUSE or loved ones irrespective of their age or gender

41. #ListenUpNG Not only is it important to say “I’m sorry,” but it’s important to say it well…to ‘win’ back the wronged party

42. #ListenUpNG Usually the words alone are not enough. You have to get inside the person’s heart, feel their pain, walk in their shoe

43. #ListenUpNG And in order for them to forgive you, they have to FEEL completely understood. You need to listen to their grievances/hurts

44. #ListenUpNG Don’t make them feel their grievances are inconsequential! Unwarranted! That’s how they feel! They are hurt!

45. #ListenUpNG Otherwise, you might say the cursory, “I’m sorry,” and he or she might say, “It’s okay,” but nothing will change.

46. #ListenUpNG The issue remained unadressed! You could be stuck in that hurt for years if the issue remained unresolved.

47. #ListenUpNG Sometimes, saying ‘I’m sorry’ may not necessarily be because you are in the wrong!

48. #ListenUpNG You may have to say it just to keep the communication line open. You may need to lose the battle to win the war

49. #ListenUpNG #SayingSorryIsNotAWeakness but could be a way of preventing the other party from building a brick wall in your relationship

50.#ListenUpNG #SayingSorryIsNotAWeakness but a way of breaking down the other party’s defences so as to enable you resolve the issue at hand

51. #ListenUpNG Being ready to admit to your wrongdoing will also ensure that you and the wronged party SUCCESSFULLY move through the hurt and in record time too

51. #ListenUpNG Being ready to admit to your wrongdoing will also ensure both of you heal and move through the hurt in record time too

52. #ListenUpNG Admitting to being wrong is an indication that you refuse to take people for granted and that you cherish your relationships

53. #ListenUpNG While at it, please note…saying or feeling sorry is not just for you but for the hurt party! So, do it right!

54. #ListenUpNG I mean, express your apology in a way that is acceptable and understood by him or her and not by YOU!

54b. When u hurt someone or discovered that you are in the wrong, it’s no longer about how u feel but how the other party felt #ListenUpNG

55. #ListenUpNG Saying “I’m sorry” restores your relationship the way only those two magic words have the power to do.

55b. #ListenUpNG Don’t just #SaySorry Act it too! Let him/her know you truly are! Bridge the gap. Break the wall. #SayingSorryIsNotAWeakness

56.#ListenUpNG Purpose to be deliberate about your relationships henceforth! Be an advocate! Foster healthy relationships.

57. #ListenUpNG #SayingSorryIsNotAWeakness It can only strengthen your relationships and build your character

58. #ListenUpNG Till I come your way next week with another inspiring session on #ListenUpNG, stay blessed!

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