#ListenUpNG 2018: 3RD PARTY IN RELATIONSHIPS

1. Relationship in itself can be defined as the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. This connection can either be by blood, marriage or a consensual agreement between the parties directly involved #ListenUpNG

2. These relationships can turn out to be happy and successful or filled with tension and turn out to be a failure. The failure of a relationship can be a source of great psychological anguish to one or two or all the parties involved. #ListenUpNG

3. Failed relationships happen for many reasons. It’s interesting to note that ‘3rd party’ interference is one of the major causes of failed relationships. Even the excuse of ‘irreconcilable differences’ may have ‘3RD Party Interference’ at its root.#ListenUpNG

4. In the context of today’s session on #ListenUpNG, the phrase ‘3RD Party’ refers to person(s) not directly involved in the ‘formation’ of the relationship. In other words, this person(s) has no clue as to the initial agreement(written, verbal or subtle) between the main parties

5. Here, a “party” is a person or group of people who act together. If two parties share a close relationship, a third party is farther away or more different from them. Check out the scenario in my next few tweets #ListenUpNG

6. Steve smiles indulgently as he noticed the pile of dirty laundry not yet sorted. He’s sure Ada has forgotten all about it. Between a friend’s wedding and a program in church, their weekend had been hectic. And she’s had to rush to office this morning…#ListenUpNG

7…to beat the usual traffic jam. He made a mental note to do something about it when he comes back from work. He usually comes back earlier than her anyway. Sometimes he’s had to start dinner too. He doesn’t mind. They are a team. #ListenUpNG

8. His older cousin who’s been staying with them for the past 2weeks just couldn’t understand their kind of lifestyle. She had an event in town and her cousin’s place is a more convenient place to stay. She took it upon herself to talk to him #ListenUpNG

9. She believes his wife has been shirking her widely duties and taking her husband for granted. She decided to give the wife a piece of her mind. She will definitely talk to her cousin too. ‘No woman will turn our son to a ‘woman wrapper’. She fumed #ListenUpNG

10. If something is not done & fast, this is the beginning of 3rd party interference. To limit the negative influence of 3rd parties, the ‘real & original’ parties involved in the relationship need to be able to define ‘who’ falls into this category for them #ListenUpNG

11. 3rd Party Interference may come in different shades and forms. Be it in marriage, dating or courting. Yes, in the multitude of counsels there is safety. But…beware of who is giving the counsel. Your decision about your relationship is still yours to make #ListenUpNG

12. The position of 3rd parties should be advisory at most. They are not to be given the rein in your relationship. Their advice and counsel should be welcomed but not taken by compulsion or emotional blackmail #ListenUpNG

13. Many marriages have missed it in this area. Some have given the rein of their home to a 3rd party without even realising it. You can do this either by omission or commission. The good news is, you can take back the rein #ListenUpNG

14. Even as a single lady or guy, you have to make today’s #RealLifeIssue a topic of discussion while dating or courting. You need to decide who and who you would consider as a 3rd party and agree on a unanimous course of action when the interference rears it’s head #ListenUpNG

15. In most relationships, these 3rd parties are relatives & friends who may be biased and can’t be relied on to be objective and non-sentimental. They can only offer advice to the limit of their experiences and at most practice their amateur psychology on you #ListenUpNG

16. However, there is a 3rd party that at one point or the other in your relationship, you may need to see. These are Professional Counsellors. They are also called Emotion Doctors. Just as you visit the medical doctors for check up on your bodies, so also you need to visit an emotion doctor for your emotional well being #ListenUpNG

17. In actual fact, there is a direct correlation between the well being of your mind (emotions) and your body. A sick body is often symptomic of a ‘sick’ mind. A troubled mind filled with guilt, fear, shame, anger, bitterness etc will ultimately affect your physical body #ListenUpNG

18. A counsellor is a person trained on the skills of listening, asking supportive questions, discussing various options, giving practical information & impt referrals, encouraging clients to make their own informed decisions and suggesting follow up procedures #ListenUpNG

19. Counselling is for folks who are determine to courageously face their fears because they want more from their life. It’s for those who want to expand their lives and achieve goals both personally and professionally #ListenUpNG

20. We will continue this discussion next week on #ListenUpNG

21. Friends, you will be amazed at the number of people that are emotionally hurting, confused and in dire need of someone to talk and walk them through their struggles. People that seek peace.

22. Since I started #ListenUpNG in January 2015, I have engaged loads of fans and followers who are going through stuffs. Ironically, #NoOneCapFitsAll No two relationships are exactly alike as the parties involved come with their own peculiarities #ListenUpNG

23. #ListenUpNG I am therefore using this opportunity to introduce to you The Me4Counselling Team. As the the Lead Counsellor, I bring my professional training, counselling skills and years of experience to assist you gain clarity in your #RealLifeIssues

24. #ListenUpNG You can follow us on instagram and twitter @me4counselling and send us a DM. You can also send an email via me4counsellingteam@gmail.com to book a counselling session. We will be glad to talk and walk you through through your struggles.

25. Till I come your way next week on #ListenUpNG to share more on COUNSELLING, I am Kemi Odutayo and I am passionate about you and your relationships. The Me4Counselling Team…bringing hope and restoration to homes and individuals.

About Kemi Odutayo

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