#ListenUpNG Wk5: IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE BY YOMI FAWEHINMI

Hi, beautiful people! TGIF, as I count it a great honor to bring to you #ListenUpNG Wk5. This is the last session of the JANUARY EDITION.

Our guest, YOMI FAWEHINMI is a man of #Faith #Experience and great #Depth. See below the compiled tweets for your uninterrupted reading. #ReadRestRelaxAndReflect on these!

“We are discussing differences today. Thanks for joining us on #listenUp

They say variety is the spice of life. Life thrives on variety. Ecology balance is based on difference. #listenUp

Diversity is the basis for living. Imagine a world where we are all the same. Boring! #listenUp

Successful teams are based on differences. A striker is different from a midfielder #listenUp

A goalkeeper is different from a defender. Imagine a team of entirely strikers. They will strike themselves   #listenUp

Since marriage is also a team, you are different from your spouse. If your spouse is the same as you, you don’t need him/her #listenUp

Remember, opposites attract. But if they are not wise, they later attack #listenUp So how do we deal with the differences? #listenUp

1. Accept your spouse is not like you #listenUp

2. Understand your spouse’s difference. Some you like, some you don’t care about, and some you dislike #listenUp

3. Understand your spouse’s difference. Some of the differences made him or her attractive to you. Abi I lie?  #listenUp

4. Accept your spouse – both the assets and liabilities. Your spouse is human; humans have frailties and faults #listenUp

5. In case you didn’t hear, YOUR SPOUSE IS HUMAN; HUMANS HAVE FRAILITIES AND FAULTS #listenUp

Yorubas say, you don’t kill a dog for barking. Dogs bark. Humans have liabilities #listenUp

Yorubas also say, you don’t kill a ram for fighting. Rams fight. Humans have liabilities #listenUp

Note these: 1. Celebrate the differences you like. Praise her for it, allow her manifest it and ensure it blossoms #listenUp

2. Talk with her or him about the differences  you dislike. Talk not fight ooo. Please listen & seek understanding #listenUp

3. Learn about the issue you dislike . Understand. Seek a new perspective. It may not be as bad as you think #listenUp

A lady came for counsel. She believed her husband snores on purpose… to annoy her. She believed he is a wicked man for snoring  #listenUp

I explained that snoring could be a medical condition… she never knew. Her husband is fat. I told her that could explain it . #listenUp

Don’t hate what you don’t understand. Seek understanding #listenUp

A man was annoyed with his wife because she failed in 3 businesses she started. I told him entrepreneurs fail at least 7 times  #listenUp

After talking, If your spouse decides to change, offer your support. Allow her to make the decision to change. Don’t ‘byforce’ her #listenUp

If your spouse wants to change, offer your support. Help your spouse make changes. Pray, provide resources, show understanding #listenUp

If the difference remains in spite of your talk you may have to accept it. Be real- some of your spouse’s differences will NEVER change. #listenUp

Remember it’s difficult to teach a new dog new tricks. Okay your spouse is not a dog but you can’t easily teach people new things #listenUp

Accept and develop coping strategies. Accepting his/her difference don’t show you are a weakling.  It’s proof of your maturity #listenUp

God doesn’t leave us because of our issues. Rather he provides strength. Be Godly, don’t leave your spouse because of a difference #listenUp

Once you accept it, develop coping strategies. One coping strategy is not to focus on the differences. What you focus on becomes BIG  #listenUp

Also you should see the positives in it. E.g though your spouse’s slow pace may annoy you, slow-paced people rarely makes mistakes #listenUp

My wife can decide in a split second. Me, I decide in a split decade or millennium. Both of us had to develop coping strategies.  #listenUp

That used to cause wahala. Now we have both adjusted. When the consequences don’t matter, she decides. If consequences are many, I decide #listenUp

I also had to leverage my slowness in decision-making with precision. That’s not a wahala when you serve Jehovah el precise #listenUp

Bible verses to help: 1. “Be kind and compassionate to each other, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”Eph4:32 #listenUp

2.  But the fruit of the spirit is …. Gentleness. Galatians 5:22 #listenUp 3.  …“he that is without sin, should cast the first stone”.  #listenUp

Finally
1. Remember, A covenant of commitment and acceptance is a powerful secret to lifelong love. #listenUp

2. You also have issues. Be fair to your spouses’ issues #listenUp

3. You need to accept and develop coping strategies #listenUp

4. Don’t focus on the issue. What you focus on becomes bigger #listenUp

5. Divorce is not an option #listenUp There are no Irreconcilable differences. There are only people who chose not to reconcile their differences  #listenUp

You are a problem solver, a solution provider and a crisis manager. Don’t only use that at work. Use this at home to handle your differences too #listenUp

I need to stop. May the Lord help us all. Don’t fight the difference. Understand it. Accept it. Cope with it. Your home is blessed #listenUp –

Tweets by Yomi Fawehinmi @yomitheprof W

Wow! Insightful! Thanks so much for the parting words – “Don’t fight the difference. Understand it. Accept it. Cope with it” and indeed, “There are no Irreconcilable differences. There are only people who chose not to reconcile their differences” – Yomi Fawehinmi

Wow! FOOD FOR THOUGHT for both married and singles: Your partner is coming into that marriage/relationship with different ‘BAGGAGES’. Are you ready to unpack with him/ her?

Until you can answer that question in the affirmative, your relationship will be saddled with challenges! This brings us to the end of #ListenUp JANUARY EDITION! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

Friends, please remember that a Special Edition of #ListenUpNG, ELECTION/VALENTINE EDITION comes up Feb 14th 6am and 6pm. It promises to be one of its kind! Keep your fingers crossed for the topics and our guest speakers.

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