#ListenUpNG Wk10: CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AND RAPE – HOW VIGILANT ARE YOU?

The March Edition of #ListenUp kicked off with Emeka Nobis and I must tell you, it was enlightening and indeed ‘food for thought’. As parents and guardians, this is a must read!
#ReadRestRelaxAndReflect on the compiled tweets or click the link below for the Storify version(with images and tweets)
https://storify.com/kemi_odutayo/listenup-wk10-child-sexual-abuse-and-rape-how-vig
Today’s session on #ListenUp is a must! #ListenUp
Let’s learn how to protect our kids, wards, sisters and oh yes, brothers too. Boys do get raped too! #ListenUp
It’s a great feeling to be a blessing to lives. Today on #ListenUp I shall bare my thoughts on SEXUAL ABUSE & RAPE – HOW VIGILANT ARE YOU?
Thanks to Kemi Odutayo @kemi_odutayo for the opportunity to be a blessing today on #ListenUp.
1. On matters of sexual abuse and rape, how vigilant are you over your kids? #ListenUp
2. Uju’s brother’s friend was close to the family than seeds in a cocoa pod. #ListenUp
3. He slept in the family house, ate at the table with them and joined them on exotic trips abroad for holidays. #ListenUp
4. That fateful day, Uju was alone at home on his visit. The beast in him roared. He raped her. Her virginity went up in flames. #ListenUp
5. John was 7 years when his mum brought 18 year old Ekaette home, on the insistence of her friend that she needed a maid. #ListenUp
6. Ekaette had come through a hiring agent in their local church. Quiet and unassuming, she fit into the family culture. #ListenUp
7. However, under the cover of darkness, Ekaette preyed on young John’s loins. At age 7 he was an initiate of the world of sex. #ListenUp
8. For 10 years John had grown so attached to Ekaette’s bosom that he had known nothing else but abuse. #ListenUp
9. On the night of Tricia’s traditional knocking-on-the-door, little did she know her jilted lover had other plans. #ListenUp
10. At midnight, he invaded the family home with other armed thugs and raped her in the presence of her family members. #ListenUp
11. How truly vigilant can we really be over events? How truly vigilant can we truly be over our brothers, sisters, or kids? #ListenUp
12. Life presents determinate and indeterminate phenomena. Traffic buildup in Lagos falls into the first. Rape falls into the latter #ListenUp
13. In the scenarios above, trust played a major role. Uju trusted her brother’s friend. Ekaette was trusted. #ListenUp
14. How can one ever know that that sweet uncle could descend to the levels of a beast as to rape his niece? #ListenUp
15. How could Ekaette’s sexual urge find satisfaction in little John’s 7 year old penis? Nerve racking question it is. #ListenUp
16. These questions are thorny. The answers, whatever they may be, scald our psyche, our conscience, and our memories. #ListenUp
17. A parent will feel pangs of fear or apprehension on a child’s first day at school, especially if the child is the only one. #ListenUp
18. Away from school, we feel powerless that we can’t control certain forces over their lives when they’re away from home. #ListenUp
19. In our world where sexual depravity inches up the scale on a daily basis, the feel of powerlessness can be overwhelming. #ListenUp
20. How vigilant can we ever be over the lives of our children? Absolute? Momentary? #ListenUp
21. Truth be told, we cannot be absolutely vigilant over our children. The video of the maid that went viral last year is a proof. #ListenUp
22. As the Igbos will say, “Anaghi aso mgbagbu agha ije ogu,” meaning, “The fear of bullets can’t make us not go to war.” #ListenUp
23. In a sexually perverse world such as ours, the right knowledge is necessary to arm us with the right weapons of engagement. #ListenUp
24. The knoweldge we need is not a list of the “dos” and “don’ts” that we are wont to lap up like thirsty dogs in the desert. #ListenUp
25. The culturally embedded reactionary mode we always exhibit is one thing we must look into. #ListenUp
26. How many of us young men were actually tutored by our fathers on the concept of our sexuality? Very few, I may say. #ListenUp
27. This is a cultural misnomer. You can’t blame these men, blame the culture. You can’t give what you don’t have!  #ListenUp
28. When our nucleus family culture changes from reactionary mode to preventive mode, then some of these issues will be solved. #ListenUp
29. Many of the victims of abuse I have met had one resounding statement :  “If only my parents had paid more attention.” #ListenUp
30. Paying attention can help to arrest the situation when the symptoms haven’t gone from benign to malignant. #ListenUp
31. I exhibited some as a youngster when I frolicked with my maid. I always jumped at her defence. I preferred her care to mum’s. #ListenUp
32. Sadly, our world has piled more tasks on the shoulders of parents, but the issue of attention can’t be overlooked. #ListenUp
33. Two things to do to stay vigilant over your kids – pay close attention and open up lines of honest communication. #ListenUp
34. Year old kids have already started exhibiting traits. Pay close attention. It will help you make sensible deductions. #ListenUp
35. My 2 year old kid is the hyperactive type. If he comes back from school and stays too quiet, it is a pointer to me. #ListenUp
36. Most times when he stays too quiet, it’s a signal that he’s getting sick. My attentiveness rises a notch higher than usual. #ListenUp
37. Please quit the faddish words we teach our kids about their body parts. “Penis” is “penis” and not “pee-pee”. It’s obfuscating #ListenUp
38. Fathers must brace the topic of sex. In this digital age, kids will connect beyond their boundaries and learn trash. #ListenUp
39. Have frank talks with your children. The honesty in your communication will flip the fear of the disclosure of misdemeanour. #ListenUp
40. The cultural change we seek is making fathers see that fatherhood is beyond hurling home the dough for upkeep. #ListenUp
41. Involvement will make you notice the tell-tale signs of withdrawal, dispiritedness, edginess and palpitations. #ListenUp
42. Sexual abuse and rape leave lots of psychological defects in the mind of the victims. It’s absolutely horrendous! #ListenUp
43. The cultural change we seek is to make society accept that victims of rape aren’t damaged goods. They have a life to live! #ListenUp
44. The church also has a role to play. The embalming arm of God is the best therapy in the catalogue of medications. #ListenUp
45. In closing, I encourage parents to seek knowledge. Read books on raising kids, not just career books. #ListenUp
46. Fathers, just like you adorn your shelf with shirts of your favourite Premiership players, adorn your shelf with books. #ListenUp
47. Get involved, get active, participate actively, and change your cultural beliefs on child rearing. Vigilance is key! #ListenUp
48. Thanks to Kemi Odutayo @kemi_odutayo for finding me a worthy vessel to be a blessing today. God bless you dearly!
49. God bless everyone who is bearing the hands of Kemi @kemi_odutayo up. You’re doing a worthy job for posterity. #ListenUp
50. God bless everyone who joined in today’s session. Thanks for the RTs. Keep tabs on Kemi @kemi_odutayo’s timeline always! #ListenUp
Wow! Food for thought! Next week we will be reading the true life account of a survivor of rape and child sexual abuse. Someone once tweeted that there is a a sort of pleasure in rape! I find this hard to believe! 
Our Guest on the next session  @Bunmi_Sobowale is one lady of #Faith, #Experience and such #Depth. She had shared her story on several platforms and she will telling her story on #ListenUp to encourage Rape Survivors. We also get to ask her questions. Watch Out for this session! Ciao!

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